Soran's Temple of the GTR

2006-04-11T00:20:00.000+08:00

It's been a very long while since i've updated here, so here goes...

I've hit a crossroads in my life. I've realised that i am no engineer, and that it isnt what i want to do for the rest of my life. No matter how i try to deny it, i've only been deceiving myself all this while...

i've already applied to NUS Business and Arts. All i can do is wait...and hope...

Now that NUS has placed me on medical leave, because they think i'm too unstable to continue the course (which was just as well...), i've left with nothing to do at all these days. Even my usual IDAS hobby is beginning to be boring as heck. I know there's something missing in my life, and no matter what i do now i don't think i can ever fill the void in my heart..

My mum is telling me to forget her and concentrate on my life. Easy for her to say, it's not as if i can just do that. Sometimes i envy PCs, one good format and they are a clean slate to start over. Everytime i see couples together with each other i'm reminded of what i lost, and it hurts. I wish Kuan Yu and Alvina well though, i can tell that they're happy with each other...

I miss her. Even 10 months after we broke up, i still miss her. Sometimes i wish i could just let it out and cry, but i find even that difficult to do. So this is love. It hurts. Like hell.

Question is where do i go from here? I'm 24 and i have nothing to show for in my life. I saw my old secondary school classmate in the newspaper some time back, he's the CEO of some bigass IT company that's raking in the millions. Compared to that, i feel like crap...

2005-11-14T05:16:00.000+08:00

I have been doing alot of thinking, and sorting things out in my head....

I've seen too many of my friends disappear from my life, for various reasons or another. Is it just my fate, for things to be like this? First it was Brian, my friend from St Patrick's, the person whom i trusted very much. Only recently did i come to terms with what he did to cause the various rifts in my life, including the one which caused me to help fracture the local Battletech community. Maurice and Bryan will soon be going into NS, so where does that leave me? No one...As for Kuan Yu I dont want to burden him with my problems, he still has a bright future ahead of him. The funny thing is in a sense, i see abit of what i was at 16 in him....

Sometimes i sit up and think about Marisa, about our relationship, and wonder why things had to turn out like this. I now have to admit that 6 months later, some part of me still wishes that i was back together with her. Despite the differences we had, she was the only person whom i could remove the mask on my face and be totally comfortable. But now it's too late for regrets, and the only thing i have to remind myself of her are the Battletech miniatures on my shelf, especially her Blackhawk, as well as the memories i cherish. The wise old man who said that you dont miss anything until it's gone was totally right...

Because of this, now i'm afraid of getting close to anyone. I now realise that all this while, i've been searching for someone to replace Marisa in my heart but i ignored the most important thing: She is unique, noone can replace her. Some people would just say "Screw the entire dating scene and just go for the fun", but i disagree. I know it's a common thing among guys like me, where there is a much higher chance of people fooling around, but i dont want that. I want someone to be with, someone who i can trust and believe in for the long-term....

A lot of things has happened...

2005-10-11T21:31:00.000+08:00

i know i havent been posting here for a long while, but some things in my life have happened. Things that are beyond my control.

For starters, i'm been feeling really down and miserable. Over school work, over my family, over alot of things. It reached a head when i ended up paying a visit to IHM out of sheer desperation. The doc there put me on a course of anti-depressants, but to describe their effects...Well...it's kind of hard. It's as though some part of my brain is switched off or something.

The only reason now i seem to be functioning normally to everyone else is due to the medication. But when the lights go out and out of sight of my friends...i feel as though a blackness has swallowed me. Words cannot describe my state of mind when it happens.

Is this the sign of someone going mad or insane? i dont know...i dont know anymore. I've applied for leave from NUS on medical grounds, it should be approved pretty soon. I need time to think about what life has become in general. Even trying out Battle Gear 4 doesnt seem to help. I somehow cannot find the fire, the passion that i had when i played IDAS. Even when i grabbed the Myogi course record for SG in BG4, i dont feel anything...

In short, if i finally lose it....please forgive me.

Pi Piru Pi Piru Pi!!!

2005-09-10T13:58:00.000+08:00

Hahaha, school as usual is a drag. Now it's just rushing for deadlines after deadlines.

Been amusing myself with this new anime i just got. It's called Dokuro-Chan, about an angel from the future sent to kill a boy who will in the future, invent the technology to prevent aging (which results in all girls looking like 12-years old lollicons). The angel decides that she can change the course of history without killing him, and so lives with him.

Here's some screenies. Mind u, this is just from the 1st episode...

Schoolwork is such a pain...

2005-09-03T23:16:00.000+08:00

Uni is turning out to be quite stressful. Poly life was a total piece of cake compared to this.

The C++ module is driving me up the wall. NUS ask us to us the Unix compiler for all the code we type, but it has this tendency to screw up ur coding in the process. Not to mention that it's based on the NUS server, and u need a bloody VPN connection to even debug ur code!! I'm asking my dad to find MS Visual C++ so i dont have to put up with this nonsense...

Speaking of IDAS, i had this guy come up to me in TBP, asking me to join his team. The fellow then went to tell a few people that i wanted to join his team. I am now so like "WTF MATE??!!" Only found out about it when mat_tappered asked me about it...

Oh well, time to get some shut-eye..

Tired from heck...

2005-08-21T19:19:00.000+08:00

As expected i've been busy. Settling down into Uni life is proving to be quite a challenge.

For starters, 8am lecture really means starts at 8am, not like NP where it started at 8:15 or 8:30. Groan, so now i really have to drag myself out of bed at 5:30 to get to the bus stop by 6....

On another note, i've been accepted into the NUS FSAE, the ones that build a race car every year to compete. I'm still wondering why they need electrical engineers for, but i guess it'll be a very exciting experience.

Anyway, here's some photos from the orientation.

Some of the girls on the groups (Robina, the Kiwi gal is the one on the left)

Me after having to forfeit with a dustbin on my head

Dinner outing at Marina square.

Starting school...

2005-08-08T15:02:00.000+08:00

Freshman orientation last week was quite a blast. Met quite a number of new friends, especially those from poly (their help will be very much needed...lol). Anyway, the orientation programme went to quite a number of places, including Sentosa. Brought back a few rather sad memories though, because the beach on Sentosa was the last place i brought Marisa to, before she flew off and left me for that guy...

Anyway, there was this girl from the OG who's from New Zealand, here to do Bioengineering. She's quite a charmer and (i admit) i kind of have a crush on her. But do i dare take the plunge? My heart is still aching from Marisa, can i bear it again?

In the meantime, KY has asked me to try and figure out how to read the HDD which i ripped out from his ruined iPod. It's some new and wierdass IDE format i've never seen before (which explains why the iPod is so bloody expensive).

IDAS and WMMT2? Not much happening, Bryan's R34 is now level 21, my R34 in WMMT2 has hit 300 outruns, and i managed to do a 2:20:808 on Hakone OB with the R34, set to 720BHP. Maybe i'll try and break the 2:20 barrier with my Evo VIII...

Got a few more games for my Xbox. One of them is Midnight Club III, which happens to look much better than the PSP version. quite a riot to play, especially the luxy sedans (The ability to plow thru traffic like bulldozer is rather sadistically entertaining)...lol

Busy in my new life...

2005-07-30T13:59:00.000+08:00

The past few days have been a blur. Matriculation, orientation and revision Mathematics classes in NUS...I am excited to be here, but a part of me is also scared. After 3 years of being in a poly, trying to adapt to university life will prove to be a great challenge...

On other fronts, things have been pretty ok. Got KY his birthday present, which happens to be Midnight Club 3 for his PSP. Pretty ok-looking, except for the loading time which is atrocious. I have the X-box version and its loading is much faster (not to mention this graphics are much better...DUH). Been busying myself with IDAS and WMMT2 as well. Not so much as last time though...i need more time now to catch up on my Maths

Freshman Orientation week is next week. Would be interesting to see what happens...

what the [CENSORED] is going on....

2005-07-19T13:04:00.000+08:00

Hahahahha....u are probably wondering about the wierd title. Well, now i'm occupying myself with GTA: San Andreas. Let's just say it's so vulgar, it makes GTA: Vice City sound polite in comparison...lol

In WMMT2, tried to tune up the Evo VIII. Still not 810bhp yet, i'll wait and see what happens when it gets there. Also had some fun with my R34, battled with some bunch of dolts who played nothing but New Belt Line CW....GRRRR. Must be some cheapskates who like NBL because of the 22km "value-for-money"....HAHAHAHA

Now i have to worry about English test tml in NUS...hope they dont cock up on the marking...

School coming soon...

2005-07-14T15:34:00.000+08:00

Been busy as of late...

Firstly in WMMT2, i lost the Hiace. Some dumb kid must have taken it while i was changing coins...GRRR. Never mind, found one discarded Evo VIII and decided to make one. Turns out to be red, so i went with the nick of FLUNK (since it looks like a red mark indeed...LOL). Tuned it up to around 800bhp, initial reviews from me would be it's driftier than my R34, but it corners better, especially on Hakone. IDAS-wise...well, just been running around with Bryan's R34 and Maurice's Altezza. Both are now level 18..

Also just got my matriculation package today from NUS. What a load of paperwork...GIRO form, transitlink form, QET test form...aiyoyo, what a headache. Will sort thru this in my own sweet time.

On my X-box, downloaded one RPG game called Fable. Seems to be rather interesting, although its system is rather different from what other RPGs have. I have heard rather wierd things in this game, like you can get married (to a girl...or get this, A GUY...LOL). Will play along and see what happens. My brother also got from his friend MechAssault II and Juiced. MechAssault II is fun, if u forget the fact that it's supposed to be a game based on Battletech. Juiced on the other hand is a NFSU II wannabe with only half the fun....

It's July...

2005-07-05T07:05:00.000+08:00

Well, time flies doesnt it? It's now the month of July...

Been entertaining myself on the X-box, playing Forza. Man, it's getting harder and harder to play, especially in the GT class. Something to do with the sadistic AI. Anyway, in the game it seems i'm now level 48. Managed to unlock the Carrera GT and the Enzo as my latest cars. Tuning up the Enzo proved to be a shock, if i calculated the BHP properly, fully-tuned it's around 1066BHP!!! Yeeps....

As for WMMT2...well, i bought a Hiace recently to have fun with. didnt know the 1st-person view was so high up, proved to be rather interesting, especially when you get the sensation that u're way above everyone else...lol.

As for home...i dont know what to say anymore. It's been hell here, my parents are quarrelling again. I had to butt in a few times before things got ugly. Worse part is my imbecile elder brother only cares about covering his own butt. He got himself a dog, without consulting us as all, and now it's become a focal point of conflict. Normally we wont mind it, but this is becoming ridiculous. Somehow, trying to find a place for myself to live sounds like a better idea day after day...

Forza indeed...

2005-06-25T19:43:00.000+08:00

Hahaha, been busy with Forza as of late. A few notable things i did in the game.

1)Got a 240ZX, shoved in a RB26DETT. Hail to the Devil Z!!! (not to mention it tries to kill u on every corner)

2)Unlocked the GT-R R34 Type N, upgraded it to the wazoo and ran the Nurbulring with it. Let's just say it's so fast it'll make a dead man not only scream, but pee in his pants.

3) The Lotus Exige is a rather cute-looking car.

4) And last but not least....GT-Rs ROXS!!!

Went with Maurice, Bryan and my bro to watch the Initial D movie yesterday night. Very nice movie, if u account for the fact that they rojak-ed the manga and anime storyline. Very hilarious at some points, but the climax was when the Evo III got...well, go watch the movie to find out...;-)

Hail to the X-box....

2005-06-22T00:57:00.000+08:00

Finally got the X-box modded. So far i've loaded a few games into it...including FORZA!!!

I know compared to GT4, the list of cars in Forza is rather small, but it's pretty overwhelming already. Started out with a Silvia S14, and it has proven to be a rather interesting, if drifty car (Which isnt too much of a bad thing on some courses)

For a 4WD, at the moment, i'm stuck with a Evo VIII FQ330. Hope to be able to afford the GT-R R34 so that i can junk this POS (got it from unlocking something)

As for FF....well, there's the amusing part. I'm now stuck with a Mugen Integra Type R. Went to upgrade it all the way to A1-spec, but realised a few lessons from using this car

1) FFs understeer like mad if not careful with the gas
2) Putting a turbo into a Integra is a really bad idea. OH, THE LAG!!!

Will update more as i go along...

Wierd People: Part Deux

2005-06-16T01:05:00.000+08:00

As above. I have people in the WMMT2 forums complaining that i slam and ram. All i have to say is "DO unto others what people do to you". But then again, some people are a whole bunch of hyprocrites, but when it comes to WMMT2, it seems all of the took it up as a hobby at the same time....

Anyway, since i have no work, my dad decided to bring me to and visit CommAsia 2005. Cant say it was interesting, most of the stuff is way out of my league. And in any case, despite what my father thinks, i have no interest in being his shadow forever. I dont plan to spend half my life trying to do business the way he does. I never did have the stomach for cutthroat business anyway. After NUS, i plan to go find some cushy govt job and hopefully sit on my fat ass till i retire....

Went with Maurice and Bryan and their friends from LifeArts to grab dinner. After that we went to Bugis to play WMMT2 and IDAS. Seems that i must have pissed off alot of people today, because i kena flamed in the WMMT2 forum later for ramming and slamming....tsk tsk. Played abit of IDAS as well, lvl-ed up Bryan's R34 to lvl 14 for the heck of it....

Well, a few more days to my pay. XBOX modding, here i come....

At last...

2005-06-12T10:02:00.000+08:00

At last the work at NYP is over....

It has been a very fun 2 months, from the April 5th to the 10th June. Cant say it was a pleasurable time, but at least it was educational. Unfortunately, most of my pay is going to help to support the family. Oh well, at least i should still have enough left to mod the Xbox and upgrade the PC as well....

Marisa called me on Friday. She talked about the fun time she's having with THAT other guy. Outwardly, i try to be polite and listen to her, but deep inside, one side is telling me to ask her to screw off, but another part is stopping me. Maybe i still have feelings for her. Crazy? i dunno...I simply cannot erase 2 years of my life from my memory and up to now, there are some nights, where for some reason, i nearly have to cry myself to sleep. Is this what love does to a normally cynical person like me? Maybe....but all i know is that it hurts....and it still does.

Maybe that's the reason i decided to go out with Bryan and Maurice on Friday, It beats thinking of her. We didnt really do that much, just ate dinner and went to Bugis's TKA for abit of fun. Played some WMMT2, with some really rough players who did their worst to ram me into the wall on Hakone. To cool off, decided to whack the IDAS machine there as well. Borrowed Bryan's BNR34 and squared off vs a guy in a Evo VII who just ate a newbie in a stock car. Ate and chewed him up on Tuban OB, Iro DH and Akagi DH, then he left. Went back to playing WMMT2, with 3 goons who coordinated with each other to make sure i was last in every match, even going so far as to get their friend to "look" at the IDAS card i left on the WMMT2 machine, completely blocking my view and causing me to crash my BNR34.

Wierd people we have these days....

Sore ga, Ai Deshou (I Guess That's Love)

2005-06-06T22:13:00.000+08:00

Tatoeba ne namida ga koboreru hi ni ha
Sono senaka wo hitorijime shitai kedo
Yasashisa ha tokidoki zankoku dakara
Motomeru hodo kotae wo miushinau

Even if there are days when the tears roll down my cheeks
I want to have your back all for myself, but
because kindness is also cruel sometimes
I lose sight of the answer the more I search for it

Ameagari no machi niji ga mieru nara
Ima arukidasou nani ka ga hajimaru

If you can see the rainbow in the town after the rain
let's start walking now, something is about to begin

Kimi ga iru kara asu ga aru kara
Hitorikiri ja ikite yukenai kara
Konna ni chikaku ni kanjiru sore ga, ai deshou
Namida no kazu no itami wo kimi ha shitteru kara
Sukitooru sono me no naka ni tashika na imi wo sagashite
Egao mitsuketai

Because I have you, because I have tomorrow
because I can't live on all alone
I feel you so close by me, I guess that's love
Because you know how much pain tears can bring
I want to find a smile in your transparent eyes
as I search for a definite meaning in them

Nani mo iwanai de mo konna kimochi ga
Kimi no mune ni tsutawareba ii no ni
Sukoshizutsu machi ha iro wo kaeru kedo
Hora omoide ga mata hitotsu fueta

Although it'd be good if these feelings found their way into your heart without me needing to speak a word,
The colour of the town changes little by little but
see, our memories have again increased by one

Kimi no kotoba no hitotsu hitotsu wo
Ima ha dakishimerareru kara kitto
Futari de kasaneatte iku sore ga, ai deshou
Dare mo shiranai ashita ga matte iru to shite mo
Daijoubu mou nakanai de
Kimi to te to te wo tsunaide
Aruiteku zutto

Because now I can embrace every word that you said
I'm sure that we'll come closer to each other
I guess that's love
Even if a tomorrow that nobody knows is waiting for us
it's all right, don't cry anymore
we'll join hands
and keep walking on forever

Futo shita shunkan tsunoru kimochi ja naku
Sukoshizutsu sodatete iku mono da ne
Aisuru kimochi ha

It isn't something that builds up in an instant
but a feeling that grows a little at a time,
the feeling called love

Kimi ga iru kara asu ga aru kara
Hitorikiri ja ikite yukenai kara
Konna ni chikaku ni kanjiru sore ga, ai deshou
Namida no kazu no itami wo kimi ha shitteru kara
Sukitooru sono me no naka ni
Tashika na imi wo sagashite egao mitsuketai

Because I have you, because I have tomorrow
because I can't live on all alone
I feel you so close by me, I guess that's love
Because you know how much pain tears can bring
I want to find a smile in your transparent eyes
as I search for a definite meaning in them

Now to update...

2005-06-05T00:14:00.000+08:00

Yeah i know it's been a while...

Anyway, what have i been doing? Not much, going by any standards. The XBox from SCV finally came, but from what KY told me, it'll take a while for the mod-chip for this particular model to arrive. So in the meantime, i and my brother are occupying myself with the one game we have, Burnout III. Bloody funny game though, especially with all those crash modes. Once i get my salary for May, i'll go mod the XBox and get Forza.

Speaking of work, my contract expires on the 10th of June. Considering that NUS does not start till 1st of Aug, i think i have to go find something else to do in the meantime. The work in NYP, on the other hand shows little sign of clearing. I wonder if we can finish by the 10th....

Anyway, in WMMT2 i got my R34 up to 810BHP. Talk about bloody irritating, the final battle in the story mode is this super-long (33km) match on the entire New Belt Line vs Devil Z vs Blackbird vs some dude in a white FC. Had to retry the match 2 times to finally win, after i gambled by setting my BHP to 760.

After some thinking, i am convinced of one thing. I though the IDAS community was bad, but the WMMT2 one is worse...much worse. They have this habit of not practicing what they preach at all. They all go "Dont slam, dont ram." but in the end, they also play like Destruction Derby. And when i do it, they KPKB. Stupid hypocritical idiots. I still remember one of the WMMT2 "pros" in his R32 laughing at my "pathetic R34", when i only started playing the day before. Talk about fucking retards.....

Some thoughts...

2005-05-26T09:21:00.000+08:00

I've been thinking about a few things as of late...

One is that of future long-term relationships. Call me a hopeless romantic, but i still hope someday i can find that someone. But i guess that for the moment, i have to play the waiting game. But like they say, every dog has his day, and i seriously believe that that someone, whoever he or she is, is out there somewhere.

Another is of my education, especially in the U. Jianhe called me yesterday to tell me about some wierd Informatics degree that takes only a year to complete. Not an idea i'll consider after all, but it does leave some food for thought. Am i going to spend the next 3 years in NUS, and live off my family? I dunno...my dad says not to take the tuition fee loan, but i dont have much of a choice do i? There's no way in hell i can get 6K a year for the tuition fees thru normal means.

As for my friends...Well, i get this sensation that i'm drifting away. Even at the chalet, i probably spent most of the time in the bedroom by myself with the laptop, with the end result of alot of people wondering what on earth am i doing. I guess i made for a pretty wierd picture, a single guy in a completely unlit room doodling with the laptop. People tell me to mix around, but i just am not too comfortable with crowds, even up to now. On hindsight maybe i turned up for it just to be polite...

Oh well, back to work...

Lalalala....

2005-05-26T06:41:00.000+08:00

Not much happening....

Last weekend, i ended up going to Maurice and Bryan's LifeArts chalet. To my surprise, everyone's least favorite Comstar nutcase was there as well, although he certainly didnt mix around much.

A few lessons i learnt from this chalet

1) Good sleeping space is priceless
2) People perform wierd things when playing Burnout III on the PS2 (Kirk doing "KILL, KILL, KILL" during Road Rage comes to mind)
3) Changi village nasi lemak is fucked up to the core
4) Watching a frog getting slaughtered for the BBQ proved to be an interesting experience.

The food which wins the award for most unpalatable probably goes to Bryan's fried sotong...LOL. They left the ink sac in the sotong, with the end result of it looks VERY black indeed, along with black pepper sauce. Didnt taste too bad though, but the sight of it was a complete appetite turn-off....LOL

Boring...

2005-05-17T20:40:00.000+08:00

As such. Nothing much going on...

Maurice and Bryan's chalet for their life arts club is this weekend. Hope that proves to have more excitment that i seem to be having nowadays. Too bad Shoosh isnt going, i was having visions of getting him piss drunk and doing the "I'm Comstar, please screw me" stunt...LOL

She called me about a week ago. Call me jealous or whatever, but dont expect me to sit there and listen about u and ur new boyfriend's escapades. My patience only stretches so far, yet i cannot bring up the courage to scold her. Why? i dunno...maybe somewhere deep down i still love her.

Managed to get a Nokia 6100 from my brother (it's his spare phone, since he's using his new fancy SE S700i). Nothing fancy, but at least it's miles better than the stupid 2100 i'm being using since my V200 got stolen.

Got my mum yesterday to renew our subscription to SCV cable modem, with a free Xbox...woohoo!! Cant wait to get my hands on it. It better get here soon.....

Some peace at last...

2005-05-10T21:48:00.000+08:00

Yesterday the police gave me a call.

They caught the bastard, but could not recover any of my items, including my HP.

Now they're asking me if i want to appear in court to testify against him. I know to do so would be the right thing to do, but complications as always ensure. Some things in the process will get dragged out into the open, in front of a court of law (which is what may happen in this case) is not what i want. The fuckhead goes to jail for a few years, but i will have my reputation dragged into the shithole in the process for the rest of my life.

At this point in time, i'm wondering about a few things. Am i so unfortunate that i cannot even find someone out there? I'm not fussy, i just want someone to love and be with, is that so hard? Anyway, she called me and said she wants to remain as my friend. It sound simple, but after holding the person in your arms, and being one with her, it can never be. No matter what we otherwise deceive ourselves, Humpty Dumpty can never be put together again.

My work at NYP has been extended to the 10th of June. At least it'll keep me occupied till then. It sure beats thinking of her...

I found this song which describes how i feel right now very well. Seems it's one of my collegues's fav songs, and i found the lyrics driving very close to home. Sometimes i find myself walking around in town these days and all those places i've been with her, i seem to end up revisiting. Especially the times i've been with her to Clarke Quay, Bukit Timah, and all the other places we've been to. But soon i realise that all i have to hold on are memories, which only serve to bring on the pain, and drive home the point that now when the lights go out, i am all alone....

"Boulevard Of Broken Dreams" - Green Day

I walk a lonely road
The only one that I have ever known
Don't know where it goes
But it's home to me and I walk alone
I walk this empty street
On the Boulevard of broken dreams
Where the city sleeps
And I'm the only one and I walk alone
I walk alone I walk alone
I walk alone and I walk a-

My shadow's the only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
'Till then I'll walk alone

Ah..ah..

I'm walking down the line
That divides me somewhere in my mind
On the border line of the edge
And where I walk alone
Read between the lines
What's fucked up and everything's alright
Check my vital signs to know I'm still alive
And I walk alone
I walk alone I walk alone
I walk alone and I walk a-

My shadow's the only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
'Till then I'll walk alone

Ah..ah..
I walk alone and I walk a-

I walk this empty street
On the Boulevard of broken dreams
Where the city sleeps
And I'm the only one and I walk a-

My shadow's the only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
'Till then I'll walk alone

Cascada - Bad Boy

2005-05-08T13:05:00.000+08:00

Remember the feelings, remember the day
My stone heart was breaking, my love ran away
This moments i knew i would be someone else
My love turned around and i fell

Be my bad boy, be my man
Be my week-end lover, but don't be my friend
You can be my bad boy, but understand
That i don't need you in my life again

Won't you be my bad boy, be my man
Be my week-end lover, but don't be my friend
You can be my bad boy, but understand
That i don't need you again
No i don't need you again

You once made this promise to stay by my side
But after some time you just pushed me aside
You never thought that a girl could be strong
Now i show you how to go on

Be my bad boy, be my man
Be my week-end lover, but don't be my friend
You can be my bad boy, but understand
That i don't need you in my life again

Won't you be my bad boy, be my man
Be my week-end lover, but don't be my friend
You can be my bad boy, but understand
That i don't need you again
No i don't need you again

It's been Hell.

2005-05-07T00:50:00.000+08:00

Something horrible happened. 2 weeks ago, just after my last entry here, my wallet and HP were taken from me, in a rather traumatic manner, of which i still have no mood to talk about here. Needless to say i lost alot of things, including my IDAS cards. Goodbye R34....

The circumtances of which i lost my things, combined with my own state of mind at that time, has led me to wonder how low i've sunk myself into. If it were not for Maurice who turned up and helped me out, i won't know where i'll have been. Probably still wondering around in shock out there somewhere.

It's also gotten me thinking about alot of things as of late. I thought that i knew how to take care of myself, but these recent events has made me realise how much control i have (which isnt much). It isnt so much the loss of my things that hurts, but the fact that it could have been worse....much worse. There are times where i sleep, and dream that the SOB is doing alot more than taking my things. The nightmares are so horrific that i'm not going to detail them here.

It's been a few weeks since Gon told me that things were over, but my heart still aches. Now i wonder if i could ever love a girl the way i loved her, but when i think about it, i realise that i have no answer. She was one of kind, one who was willing to accept me for who i was, and not treat me like some leper, like some other girls (and alot of guys) would.

These past days, i've just been burying myself in work to forget about her. But there are times where i just sit there, and am on the verge of breaking down altogether. I'm on the verge of a cliff, all i have to do is walk one step forward and it'll all be over...

Just to keep my sanity, i went to Bugis to try out the WMMT2 they have there. It's quite a fun game, especially Hakone. Good thing the prices have dropped from a insane $2/$2/$2 to a more decent $2/$1/$2, which is good, because my car is almost FT today. Just a few more stages....

A1 - No More

2005-04-23T10:03:00.000+08:00

You say we'll work it out, then you say you're having doubts.
Tell me walk away, but then you'll go insane.
Calling me day and night, saying he don't treat you right.
Then you always turn around and give him one more try.

Baby you know it isn't fair, you expect me to be there.
But we'd never get no-where.

I've got one foot out the door, I don't wanna hear about him no more.
I'll make a long story short, time to make up your mind girl.
No more back and forth, I don't wanna hear about him no more.
If I'm not what you want, I don't wanna hear no more.

Stop telling me you need more time, tired of the same old line.
Better make a move or you are gonna find, are you taking it.
Cos you know it's wrong, better let him know it's time to go you're moving on.
Baby you don't know how close I am to being gone.

Really known you long enough,
I can only take so much, tell me if I have your heart.
(Who do you really love)
Baby you know it isn't fair, you expect me to be there.
But we never get no-where.

I've got one foot out the door, I don't wanna hear about him no more.
I'll make a long story short, time to make up your mind girl.
No more back and forth, I don't wanna hear about him no more.
If I'm not what you want, I don't wanna hear no more.

(I don't wanna hear no more)
If you're sure that you really love me.
(I don't wanna hear no more)
Out the door if you still don't know.
I'll be there for you and you know it's true,
you belong to me. What you go and do (I don't wanna hear no more)

I've got one foot out the door, I don't wanna hear about him no more.
I'll make a long story short, time to make up your mind girl.
No more back and forth, I don't wanna hear about him no more.
If I'm not what you want, I don't wanna hear no more.

I've got one foot out the door, I don't wanna hear about him no more.
I'll make a long story short, time to make up your mind girl.
No more back and forth, I don't wanna hear about him no more.
If I'm not what you want, I don't wanna hear no more...

Fate burns....

2005-04-23T09:27:00.000+08:00

It is over. Gon called me yesterday afternoon, to tell me that we are no longer together. I was hoping for some hope, but apparently it was not to be. After she told me, i sat in the office trying to figure out what to do. Now i'm no longer with her, what the hell am i supposed to do?

The only thing i have to hold on to are the 2 years of memories of our time together. But there comes a time when i have to let go, and go on with my life. It's easy to say, but in actuality it's difficult as heck. I'm been putting up a happy face and a confident front so far, but no one knows how deeply inside me it hurts. Like a circus show, once the lights go out, i am left there in the darkness, alone and silent. Now i feel like screaming at the whole world...

Like i told her, i'm long past the stage where i'm angry at her, the guy or anyone else. If it's meant to be, it will be. But that does not change the fact that i was planning to spend the rest of my whole life together with her. I know i'm not perfect and i know i'm not exactly the best guy around, but i believe that i'm entitled to a small bit of happiness somewhere. Maybe i will still find it someday....

1st order of business, i'm selling off the Altezza. It holds too many painful memories of our times together, since i did start the car because she said i look like Nobuhiko. Even when i ran a TA with it yesterday, even though i broke my Akina DH record on the car, i was playing like i had no heart with it anymore. To think a IDAS car could bring up such feelings...

After that....i dunno what to do. I'll take it one day at a time....

Long while...

2005-04-18T05:02:00.000+08:00

Yeah i know i havent been really taking care of this place for a while...

For starters here's my BNR34 now...

i've gotten what i wanted out of IDAS after all this time. Now finally, maybe i'll take a break and do something else with my money, like fix up the new PC i have...

Speaking of which, i got a second-hand motherboard and CPU from Maurice to fix up as my little bro's new computer. It aint the fastest thing on earth (it's a Athlon 1700) but it'll suffice for what we need for the next couple of years.

Work has been a killer for the last week, some idiots just cant read simple bloody English in their instructions. The only good part is i think i freaked the crap out of Hypez when he found out i work in NYP...LOL

As for Gon and me....well, i have sort of gotten used to the fact that she'll probably never come back to me. Not that i can do anything much about it, what she needs is not what i can give her. If she's happy, i wish her well but it still doesnt deal with the fact that for me, it hurts like hell....

My BNR34, and this week....

2005-04-08T23:29:00.000+08:00

This is my level 30 BNR34. Once i get 31 i really feel like finding HIRA's email and sending a pic of it to him entitled "SONGBO.COM".....lol

Today i popped by Atrium to meet Maurice and Bryan for dinner. Had a few matches with Yong Kiat, i really need practice, i'm getting overtaken by his FC in the oddest of places. I had better luck with Uncle Z's GC8V, at least for most of the matches i managed to win (only by Super-Cuckoo blocking...lol)

This week, i got the letter from NUS, saying i've been accepted into NUS's Electrical Engineering. Now i have a hard choice, to go to either NUS's EE or NTU's EEE. NTU's one will be shorter, but the NUS one is better for what i'm seeking to do. Headache...

Anyway, i started work on Tuesday. It was fun, but being the only senior fellow there makes for an interesting setup. Sometimes i wonder how people expect to go to poly if they cant even follow simple bloody English in the instructions we gave. Like i told the new fellows, "Either u'll get used to it...or u go mad.". They consist of 3 gals, a guy and a bored old lady. Wonders never cease as to how such a motley crew can work together just after a few days. It'll be interesting to say the least...

Exam is over? Now what the hell will i do.....

2005-04-01T01:05:00.000+08:00

Yesh, my CSA exam paper is over and done with, as of Wednesday morning. Wasn't really that bad, although i hope i still do ok with it...

Oh yes, one piece of good news for me...the letter from NTU has arrived. I have a place reserved for me in EEE 2nd year, should i choose to take it. i think i'll wait for NUS's one before i make a decision on this matter. It dictates where the heck i go for the rest of my life. Also managed to find a job in NYP as a temp finance staff to occupy myself (and get some $$$ as well).

IDAS-wise....hmmmm, what can i say...After my exam paper on Wednesday, i went to Chevrons to bug the Evo III i got. Got it FT just today as well, it's proving to be an interesting car to drive, especially on Akagi. My BNR34 also had some fun as well, it's now level 30 as of today...lol

As for other things....for Gon and me, i think i'll take it one at a time and I hope there is still something left for me to fix back. It's been a crushing feeling to suddenly have this situation upon me. What did i do? Where did i screw up? I only know the answers wont be easy to come by, and when they do, chances are i wont like what i see.

One thing she has given me however is the courage to come to terms with what i am as a person. If for nothing else, i will remember her for that. But now, even looking at her Nova/Blackhawk CBT mini "JiaJia" is proving to be painful as every line and pattern on it hammers itself into my mind. It reminds me of how i fell for her, and the circumstances of how we ended up together. Even now, i wonder how fate brought the two most unlikely people together....

Tsuki No Gotoku (Like the Moon)

2005-03-28T09:25:00.000+08:00

Arashi, kakenukeru kouya wo fumishimete
kiyoki shinzan no chi de ware wo mitsumeru
subete uketomeru mi to kokoro motomete
kodoku, zetsubou mo mu no sekai e toujiru. . .

I run through the storm stepping firmly on the wasteland
On the earth deep in the pure mountains I gaze at myself
I take in all that my body and heart want
I cast solitude and despair to the world of nothingness...

Zutto koushite ikite kita
akaki chishio nagare
motto sochi tsuyoki kenshi ni
nare yo to sakenda kotodama

Always living in this way
Crimson blood flows
To become a stronger swordswoman
Is the cry of my soul

Haru mo shiranu mama fuyu ni ikiru tamashii
akaneiro wo shita ware tsubomi saka sou

My soul that lives in winter fails to understand the spring
Into a madder red my flower bud has bloomed

Kitto aoki tsuki no gotoku
awaku hikaru de arou
sotto tabibito terasu yo na
yasashiki ougi mo tsuyosa yo

I will always be like the pale moon
Shining faintly
Softly illuminating travellers
Whose tender mysteries are also strength

Kedakaki ken wa toki ni tooku kanjiru
yureru kokoro, uchikesu yo ni

The sublime blade sometimes feels distant
As if to deny my wavering heart

Something to think about...

2005-03-27T12:44:00.000+08:00

I have been thinking about the things that's happening between me and Gon. What has gone wrong for it to come this far? I'm losing her heart to a guy whose face i dont even know.

Am i not enough for her? i only want her to be happy, and if she's happy with him....well, my heart says not to let her go, but i also don't want a one-sided relationship. If this is how it has to be, then it will be. Even the spate of IDAS and everything else cannot take my mind of her. IDAS for me now is more like a distraction to keep my mind off the inpending storm. I dont know what to do anymore, i'm just angry and sad, not at her, but at myself. WHY???

i've also been thinking about some other things as well. I'm tired of hiding behind bullshit and pretending to be what i am not, ever since i was in secondary school. So i'll make a confession to everyone, because i think my friends and those who care for me deserve to know.

I am bisexual.

Shocked? I guess everyone has the right to be. I don't care anymore if people in the IDAS community or in school decided to flame me now for being a "friggin' homo". As for the multitude of people who might decide to run away from me like some leper, i won't be angry, just sad. Because if this is what friendship means to them, i now will know what kind of people they are...

Feeding time....

2005-03-19T08:40:00.000+08:00

Heheheheh, Zone-X's been having this promotion these past few days. Top up 20, get 20 extra. Makes for interesting fishing expeditions, especially with alot of newbies playing due to the school holidays...

As a result, i managed to level up my R34 to 29, and now my S2000 is now at level 13 and it's also FT, thanks to them...LOL. Also managed to clear 7th star on Iro with my R34 (after SIX FRIGGING MONTHS). In any case, when my R34 gets to 31 and rainbow i think i'll probably retire then. Better to leave one hell of a legacy that no R34 user can match...."FIRST BNR34 WITH RAINBOW" (well not quite, someone else has a rainbow R34 in SG but his is 100% pumped one)

Went out with Bryan and Maurice a few times this week. Nice to be out every now and then, at least i dont go stir-crazy at home. Yesterday, i also got to pull off the "GO MY BEAST RB26!!" stunt on Hong Chen's Trueno..lol.

Now i know why Kuan Yu hasnt been bugging me this week. Apparently he brought back an "illegal immigrant" from Malaysia and is now sick in bed. At least it's not dengue or malaria, it could have been worse, considering the wierd viruses that the Malaysians seem to have (Nipah, bird flu, Mat Rock....lol)

Been having some talks with Gon and some guy she met in Australia. She told me she'll stay with me out of duty and honor. But i'm rather confused about the whole issue right now. If she's be happier with this other guy, i wont mind if she goes for him. But another part of my heart says not to let go. What do i do....

My exam paper is in two weeks. I hope i at least do decently in it, i do want to further my studies in the local U

How time flies...

2005-03-12T13:40:00.000+08:00

Well, how has it been as of late?

Firstly, all my IS modules are done. All i have to worry about the grades i would get for them. Wont be too impressive, because i must have offended the WISP lecturer's sensibilities with my statement about "loyality to country is overrated", while everyone else gave the canned "my family is here blah, blah, blah..." (it was a presentation about if u would migrate overseas if there was work or business oppotunities.

IDAS...not much, i think there's a bug in the IDAS machines that only record up to 999 wins. which is a pain in the ass for me and my R34...oh well...

Now i'm in Gon's place, where her mother asked me to go and check on her PC. Turns out the PC couldnt boot because there was a floppy disk in the drive...DIAOZ!! Whatever...anyway, also cleared up and defragged the PC, as well as showed my dad's stamp collection to Gon's dad. He was rather intrigued by it, since it's almost as extensive as his.

Kuan Yu's gone to Malaysia today, bringing along his iPod and his IDAS cards. Maurice is cracking jokes about if he'll get robbed or fished in IDAS first...LOL

So much for this week....

2005-03-06T23:11:00.000+08:00

Well, this week was rather stupid...

1st off, i had to submit my resume and cover letter for MEC module, only to find that my laptop's screen went cuckoo on me. So had to send the confounded machine to IBM to fix. Turns out it cost 165 to fix the bloody keyboard!! Good thing the motherboard (which was the cause of the fucked screen) is still under warranty, it could have been much worse. After the repairs, finally managed to send those stuff...

In IDAS...well not much happening. My R34's still stuck at 6 stars on Iro, despite alot of practice. I can keep up with him, but i cant overtake at the jumps. In any case, also had a few matches with Max (in his FC) and Zaki (in his FD and Trueno). I'm getting rusty in my 34, i'm getting overtaken due to stupid mistakes...GRRR...

Yesterday, also went out for dinner with Maurice and Bryan. It was a good night out, with alot of talking going. Suffice to say it was an interesting night, and i wont divulge anymore to protect privacy. Anyone, one of the things we discussed about was Colin's idea to restart the CBT campaign. Interesting idea, i was beginning to get bored....

Well, time to go catch some sleep...

Anna ni issho datta no ni (We were so close together...)

2005-03-03T10:21:00.000+08:00

anna ni issho datta no ni yuugure wa mou chigau iro
arifureta yasashisa wa kimi wo toozakeru dake
tsumetaku kirisuteta kokoro wa samayou bakari
sonna kakkowarusa ga ikiru to iu koto nara
samuzora no shita me wo tojite iyou

We were so close together, but the twilight has a different color now.
The abundance of kindness only keeps a distance between us.
Our coldly ignored hearts are wandering in the midst.
If this awkwardness is what it's like to live,
we shall close our eyes under the cold sky.

anna ni issho datta no ni
kotoba hitotsu tooranai kasoku shiteiku senaka ni ima wa
anna ni issho datta no ni yuugure wa mou chigau iro
semete kono tsukiakari no shita de shizuka na nemuri wo

Even though we were so close together,
We can't even get a word across between our increasing distances.
Even though we were so close together, the twilight has a different color now.
Please, give us a quiet sleep under the moon light, if it is the last thing possible.

unmei to umaku tsukiatte iku nara kitto
kanashii toka sabishii nante itte rarenai
nando mo tsunagatta kotoba wo muryoku ni shite mo
taikutsu na yoru wo tsubushitainda ne

If you are going to cope with fate,
you can't go on saying you are sad or lonely.
Even if it means to break the links of words we have made together,
you would still want to say goodbye to the dull nights.

anna ni issho datta no ni
fuzoroi na futari ni ima tadoritsukeru basho nado nainda
anna ni issho datta no ni hajimete au yokogao ni
fushigi na kurai ni miserareteru tomadou kurai ni

Even though they were so close together
the unmatched couple have no place they can reach.
Even though we were so close together, in a glimpse of your new face,
I am fascinated, almost as though it is strange, almost enough that I would feel uneasiness.

kokoro wa doko ni iru? doko ni fukarete iru? sono hitomi ga mayowanu you ni

Where lye our hearts? Where are we drifting off to? So that our eyes do not become lost.

anna ni issho datta no ni
kotoba hitotsu tooranai ugoki hajimeta kimi no jounetsu
anna ni issho datta no ni yuugure wa mou chigau iro
semete kono tsukiakari no shita de shizuka na nemuri wo

Even though we were so close together,
We can't even get a word across between our increasing distances.
Even though we were so close together, the twilight has a different color now.
Please, give us a quiet sleep under the moon light, if it is the last thing possible.

Sad as heck....

2005-03-02T20:36:00.000+08:00

How does one sum up this week? One word: CRAP

Gon's gone back to Australia yesterday nite, since her term is starting. You know the old statement that u dont miss someone until he or she is gone? i'm beginning to see the point. The fact that she wont be back till November makes it even worse. I was almost on the verge of crying on the way back home, until i reminded myself that i will be patient and wait. I have to...

We had a Battletech game at Settlers on Sunday nite. Just a simple affair, a 1v1 with me in a Summoner C and Gon in the Nova Prime ("JiaJia"). I'm rusty at this game, nearly got caught off-guard by her Nova several times, but i managed to take out both her side torsos using my Ultra-20 in the first round. The second one, she got lucky and took out my gyro and one jumpjet with a ER medium laser, at which point she extended hegira and i accepted it. It didnt have much fanfare, but i will remember this match for a very long time...

To makes things worse i'm down with a case of die-rear today, which sent me packing to the doc today. Bloody polyclinics are beginning to be a pain in the ass, the Clementi one made me wait 3 farking hours to see the physician!! At the end of the whole thing, i get a nice small pack of pills and a $10 bill for a 10 min examination. Good thing i at least got a MC, otherwise i'll have gone ballistic on the clinic itself.

And to cap it off, later i went to LJS in Paya Lebar to get my much-belated lunch. Guess what? the damm counter lady made me wait 20 minutes for my food because she forgot my order! Good thing the manager passed me a free packet of fries to placate me, otherwise i was on the verge of pulling out my laptop to draft a complaint letter to them...

Good things? well, unless u count the fact that my Altezza now has 8 Bunta stars on every map...In any case it's also level 18 now. Also met Frost on Monday at Atrium, i'm still puzzled as to why he took out his frustration on me. Granted i'm a former NY3OC member, but lashing out at everyone else is NOT a good way to build up public relations, which at this point in time he really needs. It's because of stupid things like this that i decided to be a IDAS freelancer, so that i can have my fun without all the moronic politics....

Black Knight, Yellow Chicken, Silver Gull...oh my

2005-02-27T09:40:00.000+08:00

In case u're wondering about the wierd title, let's just say i finally found back my silver Altezza. So now i suddenly have 2 Altezzas with me at the moment....lol

On Tuesday, had the panel review for my FYP. Thank goodness it went pretty well, at least we managed to achieve what the project guidelines set out to do. So at least i'm assured of a pass in this module...

In other news, Kuan Yu is selling off his iPod. I'm still going "WTF?"...heck, if i can buy a MP3 player for myself i'm happy as a clam. Also, Gon's doing pretty well in her woodwork, making the wands that these New-Age people seem to have a perchant for. Although personally i'm not a New-Age fan at all, i have to say the wands look...interesting.

Some examples of wood-burning...

Looks pretty intricate to say the least...

Gon's going to Australia this Tues, must remind myself to spend more time before that...

Black Knight and Yellow Chicken

2005-02-21T10:35:00.000+08:00

This is definately not my week. Firstly, my just full-tuned silver Altezza has gone missing, so now i'm using Maurice's yellow Altezza. It does not quite handle like my A-tune one, but it'll do for the moment. Now at 450K, and it's gotten the TRD hood and Tom's muffler, much to Maurice's chagrin. Secondly, my mother is screaming at me for spending too much money (AGAIN..) and lastly, i have sunburn on my shoulders that hurt like heck and a lovely cough that just wont go away.

As for the title, well it's something that came out of my demented imagination. The Black Knight is my R34 (because it's black) and the Yellow Chicken is the Altezza (because it's yellow). Simple? lol....

On the bright side, my R34 has gotten back its level 28 from some stupid fools in Evo IVs a few days ago who kept bringing me to Iro...and losing!! Also, went to Atrium with Gon yesterday, just to play around abit. To cut a long story short, some punks with wierd-color hair challenged me. I won some, they won some, then they use an Evo IV and bring my Altezza go Iro UH wet, and refused to wait at finish line. KNN, want to play funny, come play with my GTR!! Brought the farker to Tuban OB wet, and so much for him leaving boost on, because he lost anyway. He pulls out Tuban IB and also loses. Finally, his friend comes in and brings me go Iro UH wet with a FD. By this time i was so incensed, i dragged the fellow 200+m and just went thru the finish line. By this time, the fellow in the FD looked like he wanted to pick a fight, but the ZoneX staff was there checking the machines, and they decided to back off. Fancy trying to pick a real fight over a VIDEO GAME....lol. Left the place with Gon and chatted for a while, then i went home. Chatted with Maurice abit on the phone, then knocked off.

Past few days...

2005-02-16T13:11:00.000+08:00

Been busy, my FYP finaly report is due next week...

Anyway, for IDAS, my Altezza is now full-tuned, and i'm beginning to have fun with this car. Very fun on Akina, especially when some jerk in a GC8V brought it to Akina DH wet and discovered to his horror that he lost to a "crappy-on-wet" car...lol. Pity it's still now at level 13. Speaking of which, i get flamed in of all things, the FC thread in sgracer forum. He KPKB say i use R34 and whack his "poor" FC into the wall at the hairpin on Usui. All i can say is...TOO FUCKING BAD!!

Gon's also getting better in the EK9, although i think everyone (including me) have a morbid curiosity in seeing a FF car do Usui wet...lol

My brother's been hogging the computer as of late, playing this wierd new online game called Lineage II, where i saw his character trotting on this thing that resembles a mutant chocobo...lol.

Oh well, back to class. Later!!

Been a long time...

2005-02-13T09:40:00.000+08:00

Yes, i know i havent updated this in donkey weeks....

1st off, i got back my CSA results. Damm, only 65/100...well it could have been worse. I remember seeing one fellow in the exam hall just write his name and details, then proceed to sleep until he could leave the place. Win already....;-)

In IDAS...i got myself a silver Altezza for the heck of it. Now it's at 600K and battle lvl 11 (haha, small flame). And yes i realised that i've had idiots hauling me to wet all the time these days, in which case i just pull out Deckker's R32 and give it back to them...lol. Also been trying to teach Gon these past few days about IDAS in the EK9, and she won her 1st battle versus a human opponent (because the jerk kept playing boost on with us, so turns out it came back and screwed him instead).

Yesterday, also went to Sentosa for some fun with Gon. The beach was nice, although i have to remember that i'm not a strong swimmer. Nearly went under due to a leg cramp. The visit to Mt Imbiah was...wierd. It's an old historic site for a old gun emplacement during WWII. Also popped by the Butterfly park, where the amount of butterflies and other insects proved to be rather interesting, especially the part when i got to hold a scorpion in my hand (felt furry in my hand...lol). Nearly wanted to pop out a few Goliath Scorpion jokes..lol. After that, we went by Atrium for a while, where the sight of the Projected Dumbheads caused me to lose my appetite for dinner. Arrogant as usual...oh well.

Thinking....

2005-02-01T04:03:00.000+08:00

As above. am thankful that this moronic paper for CSA is finally over and done with. Hope i pass though...

Just got the letter from NTU, asking me to apply. Now i stand at a crossroads, do i continue my studies, or do i take my diploma and go find something to do? As much as i want to advance myself, i also have to take into consideration that i am no longer a young fellow. Time is not my friend now, especially when my peers are finding work as well.

This is along some other problems that have popped up as of late. Gon says i dont spend enuff time with her. Well, i guess i dont, but it isnt as if i want to be like this, do i? Sometimes i dunno what to think anymore. After things like this, i really feel like going somewhere and just screaming at the top of my lungs for the whole world to hear. Yes, i am NOT in a good mood these past few days.

People say that if u think about what u ur future holds, u will see it for what it is. I dunno, but all i get is a big blank space. Does this mean anything? I dare not think about...

I'm so tired these days, it's like i'm running on empty now. I hope i can hold onto my sanity....

Weekly pains..

2005-01-22T01:00:00.000+08:00

Yup, think i better write something here, before it gets cobwebs...lol

Not much happening here, my FYP is coming along okay, with a few odds and ends to be done up, but other than that, it's pretty much complete. I just hope i dont get the same sadistic SOB lecturer for panel review...grrrr. The Computer Club is a complete mess now, thanks to the fallout from the recent affair. And my IS modules are killing me...imagine having to write a 1000-word essay on human interaction in society...YUCKS.

In IDAS, not much happening as well. Borrowed Bryan's B-tune BNR34 today to try out. Talk about a smelly car, this car tap the wall, almost like nothing happen like dat. All the timing all can match or beat my C-tune timing, even though i was driving the car like a tennis ball...DIAOZ.

In computer games...hmmm, now playing this wierd game called Sid Meier's Pirates. It's a cross between a RPG and a RTS, with the setting being the 16th century in the Spanish Mains. Wonderful stuff, being able to rape, pillage and loot ships and cities at ur whim. In NFSU2, now it seems all my friends dont want to race me with normal cars anymore...how sad (Well, i dont blame them. Would u dare say a Skyline got trashed by a AE86 on URL? Didnt think so...).

When the shit hits the fan...

2005-01-14T03:55:00.000+08:00

This has been a horrible week for me...

I finally got my 2:44:xxx for my Tuban OB with R34, so i got bored and posted it on IR. Then Steward posts his, with some taunting comments to boot. So of course i buey song lor, and i made my displeasure very obvious on the R34 thread in sgracer.com forum. And behold, the idiots from Project D had to come and switch on the flamethrower. They seem to have this impression that only THEM have the right to scold, taunt and whatnot...farking retards. Hey, i only provided the damn shovel, dont blame me if u kept digging urselves into a hole u cant get out of. But who cares? i cannot be bothered with them anymore. I be myself, i get blasted. I be nice, i get nuked. If that's the case, what's the farking point?

Anyway...i got bored, started a S2000 to replace the one that got stolen. It's dark blue and A-tune. Now at 200+K, but so far only two battles with it, from a Evo IV that hauled me to Akina snow and Tuban OB (both of which i won...lol)

In school, on Wed we had a stupid talk in the convention center regarding Army life and whatnot...lol. In the Q & A section, someone asked why during medical checkup, they ask u to pull down ur pants and cough. Needless to say it got a lot of people laughing their heads off, and the 3-crab guest speaker was stunned speechless as to how to answer it...HAHAHAHA. Later in the evening, i went to Settlers where i had the 1st Battletech game i ever had in donkey months. Very fun, it was a gangbang scenario, with water rising up and down. Luckily i took a 70-ton Grasshopper which could jump around and blast away. Too bad later, a Black Knight, Phoenix Hawk and Wolverine decided i was too dangerous to live...LOL. Oh well, at least i managed to take down David's Yen-Lo-Wang by critting his AC20 ammo...BOOM!!!

Too long...

2005-01-07T23:45:00.000+08:00

yeah it's been too long. Been so busy it's been a miracle i can even type this, considering the amount of assholes i'm encountering now...

Weekly affairs? OK, firstly it's been an interesting IDAS week. Finally got 2:44 for Tuban OB with my R34, but those brats from Project Dumbbell decided to bomb a 2:43...Fine, if they get their kicks that way, so be it. No point trying to waste money to declare war on a bunch of juvenile delinquents...

Anyway, in my computer club, turns out my Assistant Secretary resigned after one of his friends (The president of NP Dance Sport) defaced the whiteboard in the clubhouse containing the hierachy chart with his own sarcastic comments. Today we had a meeting with out club advisor to decide what to do. The NPDS president apologised for the whole thing, but Mariam wanted Bevan's head, so he resigned on the spot. What a wonderful world we live in...

It's been awhile...

2005-01-01T09:50:00.000+08:00

As above. I wonder if anyone still reads this...lol

Anyway, the recent tsunami has really put a damper on things. Instead of the mad-ass partying that usually happens, everyone is more interested in the thousands of casualties in the disaster. Cant say i blame them, this tsunami took out more people than some of the recent wars as of late. In NP, we have a donation drive for stuff to donate. Still wondering what to donate to them...

Turns out that in the computer club, Bevan (my old assistant) and his GF finally decided to leave on their own accord, after a huge fight with the president over running the club. Truth be told, I agree with some of what Bevan said, but unfortunately things aint that simple anymore. Oh well...

In IDAS, what else is new...Oh yeah, started a Cappuccino for the heck of it. It's been a fun car so far, now at level 3. My R34 went up to level 28, if only i didnt get all those fishers left right center, maybe it'll be a stable 28. Also, on Thursday night at Atrium, i finally met RICH, the R34 God of Singapore!! It was when i was having a few matches with Leon and his FC, then i saw someone put a card on the machine with a NB8C printed on it. I saw the nick and i froze...YIKES! After Leon decided to leave, RICH sat down and pulled out his motly collection of cars, from his S15, to his EK9, even a S2000 which he used to challenge me on Akina DH (The irony is delicious. God's Arm VS God's Foot...lol). Finally he popped out his own R34, where we had several matches which ended up in a draw (whoever had the advantage lane won the match...lol)

Yesterday was New Year's Eve, went to Atrium for a while, played with my R34 abit. Dammit, got leveled down to 27 by a GDB...SIANZ. Went after a AE86 Trueno, only to have the fellow haul my ass back to Akina AGAIN and AGAIN...BWG!! Popped by Simei to blow off some steam with my Cappuccino. One RX8 (yesh the same one that loves to come disturb me in Simei) come challenge me to Usui left...i tio blocked until like dunno what. I got bored, picked Akina DH and kicked his ass bigtime. He brings me back to Usui, and makes it wet. No surprise i lost like siao, so i got evil and haul him to Akina Snow. No kick, i passed him on the second hairpin. His friend pulls out GC8V and brings me to Usui right, where i lost (DONT THESE GUYS PLAY ANYTHING ELSE OTHER THAN USUI?). Ok now i'm on fire...HERE COMES THE GTR!! I bring him to Happo IB, where he left boost on because he claim GC8V cannot run Happo (HAHAHAHAHAHA!!). Despite that, he managed to reverse himself on the upward consec hairpins...lol, and i got back my level 28. Now he tulan, put in Evo IV and bring me go Iro DH (YAWN..) where he reversed himself on the very 1st hairpin, and i won. He now extreme tulan, bring me go Iro UH, where he reverse himself...TWICE, and i got my 3 consec wins. Called it a day and went to Gon's place to celebrate the New Year.

Now it's 2005, we shall see what it holds. Hopefully it'll be alot better than 2004...

What a Christmas week....

2004-12-25T23:34:00.000+08:00

hahaha, i know it's late into the 25th, but what the heck, Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to everyone!!

This whole week...alot happening recently. Encountered a level 28 RX8 last Saturday from Project D, who practically destroyed me on most of the maps. My pride as a R34 driver in IDAS ver 3 got a serious dent then.

On Sunday, went to a function at the Mandarin Hotel, which Gon's mother was organising. Saw a big-ass log cake on the table, so i thought it was for the function itself. Only much later did i realise that she had gotten it for me, when she turned it around and showed me to message on it!! Wish i have the pictures now to show u...

Weekdays, didnt really do much. On Tuesday, got chewed out by the panel review for my project. Bloody old man, if i end up failing PD2, i'm going to go kill him...GRRR. Played abit of IDAS for the whole week, including a trip to Simei where i nearly took the course record for Tuban OB for the left machine...damm, i only got 2:42:498 with my Evo V, while the course record was a 2:42:438 with a FD!! Anyway, also got a few people come and disturb both my FD and Evo V in Simei...lol. One of them took a FD and brought my Evo V to Akina UH, with himself in right lane. Lost like crazy, so i brought him to Tuban OB in revenge. He nearly died of fright when he saw the 2:42 timing, and turns out i overtook him on the very 1st hairpin over the bridge...songbo.com!! They all were wondering where i got my level 15 for the Evo V from (to a bunch of newbies, level 15 looks big), imagine their shock and horror when i popped in my R34 to run TA for a while, and they saw the stats...LOL. The fellow in the lvl 13 RX8 who challenged me last week, was among them. He decided to have some matches with me, all three which i won...lol. Only then did i tell him his RX8's pickup was totally wrong.

On Thursday, i got a surprise from the Computer Club, when they brought out a log cake to help celebrate Christmas and my birthday. It was nice that a bunch of people who i considered only as classmates and colleagues until then, actually remembered it, unlike my former IDAS team which i think probably couldnt be bothered. Makes me rethink which bunch of people should i treasure...

Today? My birthday itself, didnt get anything much in terms of presents, but it was very nice that my elder brother remembered it, by getting a cake for the occasion at home. It was a very simple affair, with Pizza Hut for dinner as well, but this was one of the happier birthdays i ever had in recent years. Too bad my dad decided to stay in his own room, and didnt even bother to come down. Sometimes i wonder if i'm his son at all...even a simple gesture, like coming down to talk to me would have made my day complete....oh well.

Now i'm 23, we shall see what the future holds...

And so it is...

2004-12-18T07:47:00.000+08:00

Well, i had quite abit of fun these past few days. Tuning up my B-tune FD has proven to be rather interesting indeed, especially since i seem to get alot of other FDs coming after it...lol. My Evo V was even more ridiculous, it got 19 consec wins!!

Anyway, for TA-wise, no luck here. But battle-wise, it's been good. FD level up from 3 to 7 in one day, Evo V also level up as well...too bad my R34's level is kinda stuck...lol.

Yesterday i mostly battled with the R34, because 2 Evo drivers dragged my FD to Iro DH wet. The 1st guy in a Evo V, i brought him to Akina Snow and buried him under 300m of snow, the second guy in a Evo IV i brought to Happo IB. Let's just say he suxed so bad i dragged him 300m, with me talking on my phone!! He got pissed and brought my R34 to Iro DH dry. The dumb fark reversed himself trying to overtake me at the jumps....DISGRACE TO EVO IV...LOL

Met up with Bryan and Maurice later at Atrium, walked around Sunshine Plaza, Bugis and whatnot. Popped by Simei Zone-X, had a few matches with Bryan's KYOKO FD. Put in FD, i lose..sianz. Put in Evo V, i still lose (and i lost my 19 consec wins on the car...lol). IT'S TIME FOR BIG DADDY GTR R34 TO PARTY!! Won on Akina and Tsuchisaka, then some kid asked me what's my R34's level. He got hungry, popped in an RX8, and proceeded to choke to death on my R34 on Iro DH by 150m...lol. After that, i called it a day, saw Maurice and Bryan off and went back home.

Anyway, i've also been occupying myself with a silly little game from Yahoo Games, called Insaniquarium. In short, it's a game where u have to keep fishes in an aquarium, feed them in time and fend off monsters that come into ur tank to eat ur fishes. Think more insane version of Tamagochi and u get the idea how this game is. Here's a screenshot for the bored-of-mind...

The Noir Wind Freelancer

2004-12-15T11:00:00.000+08:00

Yup that's what i'll be now. I survived well enough for the 1st 4 months of me playing IDAS. Wont be too hard to adjust back.

Anyway, went to Atrium yesterday to play abit of IDAS. Saw Ryo there, turns out i'm been "upgraded" from Mobile Furniture to Mr Invisible. Anyway...started a black B-tune FD with the nick of LOKI (Just to show what i think of the current state of IDAS and NY3OC). Quickly got it basic-tuned, and got the single-turbo. This car is wonderful on Shomaru and Tsuchisaka. Oh yeah, also got 2 battles (and wins) on this car as well, from people who thought fishing a near-stock car would be easy...lol.

My R34 has been a classic case of dum spring as of late. All my runs on Tsuchisaka have all been within 100 milliseconds of breaking my 2:45:158...DIAOZ. Luckily i managed to break my Happo from 2:28:7xx to 2:28:2xx (with quite a few mistakes). Will try to get the 2:27 ASAP.

In my Computer Club, turns out i've gotten the post of Vice President of the club. From my POV it's a mixed blessing. It looks like a promotion, but i know otherwise. My former Assistant Secretary (now the Secretary, my former post) has turned out to be a ambitious and ruthless fellow, and quite frankly, he scares the crap out of me.

PS: Lam Tong, I know our decision to leave NY30C will not been taken well by some people. Believe us, we did not come to this decision lightly as we have been long-time members, but we are just acknowledging what has been fact for the past few months. We wish NY3OC all the best, we know it will be a powerful team. Unfortunately, we also know that we now have no place in the grand scheme of things. So for the good of everyone, we think things are better off this way.

Some thoughts...

2004-12-12T01:17:00.000+08:00

Well, i didnt exactly have a exciting week, so i wont bore u with the details of my school days

On Friday, after lessons, i went with Gon to Snow City in Jurong East. Heheheheh, i didnt expect something like this in Singapore, an indoor snow room!! It has to be seen to be believed, and sliding down the snow was one heck of an experience. I think i'm getting a cold now from it though...lol. Anyway, i went back to school at 5pm to settle the infernal affair in my computer club. Turns out i've been relieved of my post as secretary, and it's been given to my assistant. While the reasons are valid (i've been too busy to do much), it still leaves a sour taste in the mouth. Remains to be seen how this develops.

On Saturday, ended up fixing my brother's PC in the morning, so couldnt do much at all. After that, i went to CTP because i was supposed to have a match vs Heron's Levin. He didnt turn up because his grandfather ended up in the hospital today...oh well.

Went to Atrium where i was totally off-form, lost due to too many silly mistakes. It has finally convinced me of one thing: I am too much of a liability to NY3OC (and to myself) to stay any longer. I could almost hear the jeering from the PD members, and i will not put up with this bullshit anymore. I have talked to A-Tee about my decision to leave, and he told me to try and get closer to the rest of the gang 1st before i do anything. I know his intentions are good, but i wish i could follow it. It makes no sense for me to work my farking guts off on my R34, only to have my efforts being thrown into my face like so much sand. It also makes no sense when all my efforts to be friends with almost anyone in NY now, is rebuffed like i am so much mobile furniture.

The team probably would shed no tears over my departure (heck, i think some will rejoice to see the "Asshole in the R34" finally leave), so i'll just tell Uncle Sad that i'll be quietly leaving. It's much better this way...

Sunday Initial D.....

2004-12-06T16:30:00.001+08:00

Didnt do much on Sunday morning, so i went out in the early afternoon to see if there was any action at Atrium. turns out there wasnt really that much, but met Deckker there. He bought himself a C-tune R32, played it a few times and then got fed up and passed it to me. BT-ed this car and found out something...this car is absolutely DISGUSTINGLY FAST on wet, almost like driving on dry liddat...lol

Also met Specz there as well, had one battle, his Evo IV vs the R32 on Akina UH. i won pickup and the match, too bad he had to leave ASAP. Anyway, had a few more matches with my R34 and Evo V, not much luck with the Evo, but after beating a Evo III that brought me to Akagi UH, my R34 got up to level 27!! YEAH!! Saw a few of the kids from Emperor, and one of them, who runs a 2:42 with Evo IV on Tuban OB, pulled my R34 there. He cut across the oil to overtake me, but couldnt block me and i overtook back, with the end result of some very choice vulgarities coming from him...lol. Challenged another of them (they all seem to have Evo IVs) to Akina DH, but got overtaken and level-ed down...DIAOZ...i challenge back Happo IB and won (and got back my level 27). He picked Akagi DH and i won this match as well. Then another Evo IV (what the heck, mass-cloning of Evo IVs today?) came and pulled me to Happo IB. He's good, i had to continually block him from start to end, but i still won, and i got my 3 consec wins...lol.

Had 3 more matches with a GC8V, who i brought to Tuban OB and i won. The fellow dragged me to Akina DH, with me winning thru complete mad-ass blocking. He couldnt believe what just happened, so he picks the same map again, and i had to show him the POWER OF BLOCK again, for another 3 consec wins!! After that, saw Leon_FC3S practising with his FC, so just for him, i sat down on the machine next to his with my R34 and i left green on while playing TA. For all those several rounds he did not come and challenge me...how disappointing. Oh well, at least i managed to improve timings by abit for my Tuban OB, Shomaru OB and Akagi DH...

Back from camp

2004-12-04T22:51:00.000+08:00

Yesh!! After 4 days and 3 nights of feeding the bloody mosquitoes in school(and a long, judicious nap as well), i'm back home!!

Lemme see if i can remember what happened...

Wed: Came to school, set up the dorm where we were sleep for the next 3 nights. Good bloody heavens, hard mattresses (if it can be called that), and a cold, hard floor...my back hurts from the thought alone....lol. Marisa came alone later and sat thru the briefings we had for those helping out in the Excel/Access courses on Fri/Sat. Later, she brought everyone to Bukit Timah for a quick hike, but due to lack of time, we ended ip climbing down very late (it was almost pitch-black when we got back). She went home, i went to take a shower and knocked off.

Thurs: Woke up at around 7, just in time to get ready for a trip to Ubin with everyone. Marisa came to guide us at around 9am. We set off for Ubin and had lunch at Changi 1st before we took the boat to Ubin. Our esteemed president decided that it will be a cycling trip, problem is that some people dunno how to ride a bike, so guess who was one of those that had to take a double bike?

The double bike was a unique experience, since it's murderously harder to control compared to a normal single bike. But the conditions of them leave something to be desired, because one of them had BOTH of its chains slipped, running over an obstacle that a single bike would laugh at. We spent 1/2 and hour trying to fix it, but ended up having to call the bicycle rental fellow to come and fix it. Saw alot of the sights of Ubin, i'll try and post pics here the moment i get them from my boss...Anyway, at 6pm, we had dinner, set back to NP to rest, all smelly and dirty, but u can say that we had quite abit of fun.

Fri: Ahhh, the reason we are here. We conducted a course on Excel and Dreamweaver today for a bunch of St John cadets from Swiss Cottage and CCK Sec. OMFG, i swear this group was much more havoc in behavior and attitute than the one we had last year. The refreshments we provided, they even had the audacity to "ta pow" by shoving them into their bags by the armload!! When we later took them for tutorial, i have never seen a crazier bunch of monkeys than them. While we were teaching, they were using the PCs to surf frienster, type their blog and one was even playing an online Flash game!! The worst was the girl that was playing the game, i told here to kindly stop playing, she kept screaming to let her finish the level 1st! WTF??!! I should have brought bananas.

Some of our helpers, after the event was over, asked me for NFSU 2 to install in their laptop. The result was seeing 3-5 laptops playing NFSU 2, too bad none of them wanted to play multiplayer...

Sat: Today we teach the monkeys to run Access. They were notably more subdued today, because one of their more fierce instructors came, and kept things in order. Even so, they still took the opportunity to make mischief even now and then with the PCs, much to our consternation. After the whole thing was over (FINALLY!!) we had our lunch, where i had chicken chop and fish & chips (YESH I WAS THAT HUNGRY!), and i excused myself to go home. Went home, got a blasting from my dad for staying at such a long camp, then took a very long nap from 3pm to 9pm. Now i'm just typing this our...

I'll try and post up pics later. CIAOZ!!

Off to camp i go...

2004-11-30T21:52:00.000+08:00

What a weekend...I wont be around for a while (at least until Saturday), because of Computer Club camp...

Anyway, havent really been doing much. Spent the whole weekend either ID-ing or with my precious one.

IDAS? well, the Evo V is now C-tune, with Enkei 5-spoke rims and Initial D muffler. Still dunno the pickup for this car, so most of the time i win due to overtaking....lol. My R34 hasnt been around much, only thing of note was the Tuban OB timing reduced by abit to 2:45:499. Had some battles with my cars as well, with newbies running far, far away when they see the R34 (Judging from most people's reaction, if they could have a nosebleed, they would...lol). Had some matches with Channon today as well. At least i think i managed to figure out his pickup for R34, because i can stay level at 0.0m with his car on Iro DH's straight start.

In other news, my brother has just downloaded the 1st few episodes of Naruto (finally!). Yeah i know i'm way behind, but i'm not that much of a anime fan, dont expect me to know what's current and what's old news. Watched them, talk about toilet humor...lol. Anyway here's my fav scene from Naruto...

As u can see, i have a perverted sense of humor...lol

One hell week....

2004-11-27T01:11:00.000+08:00

Like the title suggest. it's been a hell of a week...

My project is stuck at the moment, due to moronic issues that just keep popping up again and again. Supervisor wasnt happy with the mouse pointer's buttons, so guess who had to take a fucking soldering iron and practically try and rewire a whole bloody mouse? Good thing my partners are writing the main portion of the report, which leaves me to settles alot of the other stuff...

IDAS? Well, it's been a desert as far as it's been concerned. Only thing of note was that i finally managed to reduce my Tuban OB timing to 2:45:771 on the R34. Yes it still sucks but its a start. Other tracks i either could not break (like my Happo...GRRRR) or i break by milliseconds (like my Iro DH, which only got broken by 100 milliseconds). Had a few interesting battles with Taka from my team in his FD Spirit (which was quite fun, i rarely see FDs these days)

regarding NY3OC...at this point i feel i have somewhat gotten distant from the rest of the team. Am i really doing anything for the team, or am i an annoyance? At this point in time, i do not know. Shini says that NY3OC is a team of friends, but the problem is that i do not even know how to CONNECT with this bunch. Seems that i am always the odd one out. Why? Because i can't get decent timings? Because i do not say what anyone wishes to hear? I'm at this point in time, really fed up with this...

Yeah yeah, it's been a long time....

2004-11-22T08:26:00.000+08:00

In case u've been wondering if i died or something, the answer is nope, i'm still alive and kicking, i've just been busy with Marisa lately

IDAS? Well, not much of note really. Had a few battles over the past few days (especially some very crazy ones with Shini's Evo III), switched my Evo V to C-tune and leveled up my R34 to level 26. Discovered that the Evo V C-tune is damn fun on Irohazaka, maybe i'll finally go and learn how to play this map properly for once...lol.

Still trying to help Kuan Yu with his quest to find a way to make his X-box have a wireless LAN on it so that he can connect it to a wireless router for his X-box Live. Turns out one of those moronic adapters cost around $220!!! Simply ridiculous indeed...

Also managed to finish NFSU 2's story mode. My final car was a GTR R34 (duh!) which easily kicked the final boss's ass. Powerful, but understeers like heck (like in IDAS...lol!!). Here it is...

WOOHOO!!

2004-11-18T09:08:00.000+08:00

As usual, my life is pretty boring these days. But one thing perks me up today. SHE'S COMING BACK TODAY!!! After almost 6 months, Marisa's coming back on a flight at 7pm today...i will be there!!

Other than that, only thing i've been doing is playing more NFSU 2 and IDAS. In NFSU 2, finally managed to tune up a GDB. One hell of a drifty car, which makes it fun for drifting areas but horrible for circuit and Street X. Looks nice though, especially with the CF hood on it.

In IDAS, also havent really been doing much. One of the few things of note was i finally managed to FT my Evo V after so long, which is just as well since the COE is expired. I might consider changing to C-tune with carbon fibre on almost everything, it'll be fun to see how wild this tune is. While i was tuning up the Evo V, some cuckoo in a GDB brought me to Akagi UH wet, but i ended up overtaking him at the now-LHOD. So he puts in a GC8V and brings me to Akina DH wet...he kena blocked by me all the way to the left turn after CP2, where he lost control of the GC8V trying to overtake me. Then he gets super-pissed and hauls my ass to Akina UH wet and i lost like crazy. Ok, jerk u want to play funny, LET'S RUMBLE!! OUT GOES THE EVO V, IN GOES THE R34!! He nearly screamed the whole place down seeing the stats on my R34. I hauled his ass to Happo, where i raped him 200m. He brings me to Akina snow and he gets banged 350m. For some odd reason he picked Shomaru OB (WTF mate??) and of course he lost, with him complaining that he cant see the road for nuts because of my R34's huge backside...lol. After that, they left me alone and i just finished tuning up the Evo V. Also finally met Stimpy, who was playing on the WMMT machine...nice to meet him finally after so long...

Anyway, now in project room....ciaoz...

My NFSU ride, the Lexus IS300

2004-11-16T08:54:00.000+08:00

As above. Never thought i'll be using a LUXURY CAR as a racing machine...lol

Did really nothing except play NFSU 2 the whole damn day (and i really mean the whole day...lol). Dont ask how i ended up with a Lexus as my main ride, but it'll do until i get further enough into the game to get and tune up a R34. In the meantime, it's rather fun to watch my brother's reaction to a "bloody saloon" running around (he uses a Celica at the moment in NFSU 2).

NFSU 2!!! WEEEE!!!

2004-11-15T13:04:00.000+08:00

Been busy these past few days, so didnt really get a chance to blog....

Anyway, IDAS-wise, only played a few matches on Friday and yesterday, mostly vs newbies. Only a few really were notable, like the 9 consec wins i got out of Mutu and his Celica on Friday (Hey, he squeezed two levels out of me...lol). Also had a few matches with Zaki's FD on the same day as well...lol, it's been too long since i've battled an FD, too many people running around in 4WDs these days.

Saturday i didnt go out at all, because my download of NFSU II just finished, so installed it and started playing. One of the starting cars is the infamous AE86, which i end up taking (hey it was either that or the other even more tacky cars). Very fun game overall, especially Street-X mode, which is like circuit-racing on a narrow-looking track. Found that the AE86 really does well here, especially after i tried out another car, the Lexus IS300 which really redefines the meaning of UNDERSTEER...lol. Now currently using the IS300 though, because it has better straight-line acel than the 86. In my next entry maybe i'll get a few screenshots...

Sunday, met up with Kuan Yu and went to his house, because i was bored as heck. Stuck around there for a while, showing him NFSU 2 on my notebook and discussing how to wire up his proposed "X-box home entertainment system"....lol. Left at around 6pm, because someone wanted to pass me some things, after which i went down to Atrium for a while to play. Battles-wise, my R34 only got one match vs an Evo IV, but i did take a stock Capp to try in battle vs another Evo IV. Poor sucker, he had to give my Capp 3 consec wins to eject me off the machine, on Iro UH wet and Tuban wet somemore!! Records, didnt really do much, except for reducing my Shomaru OB timing on R34 to 3:06, and cutting down my Akina DH to 3:09. Also tried Tuban wet in both directions, but no luck. I can go faster in certain places but silly mistakes means that i cant string the CPs together to reducing my timings...oh well

Some thoughts...

2004-11-11T13:17:00.000+08:00

As you can guess, i dont trust my senses enuff to play IDAS these few days...

Tues:
Went back to school, still coughing like mad. Installed the 3D modelling software on my laptop to start designing the chassis for my project. Very nice software, but it needs to connect to some dumb server in school, meaning i cannot use the software at home. (FARK!!!). Anyway, had a discussion with the supervisor regarding its power supply and whatnot. Turns out the embedded PC can run on just two power cables, a +5 and a 0V(GND), as long as its 4A (which still makes sourcing for a PSU very tricky, unless u use one from a PC). Went home, played around with Maple Story abit more, chatted on IRC with Aegis as well, then knocked off.

Wed:
Didnt go to school today, because it was some ECE day thingy. Spent most of the time either checking on my SEB 151 download or the NFSU2 torrent. Finally got the SEB 151 file, just to grab one song from it...FLY AWAY, by DIGITAL PLANET!! GO KYOKO!!

Went on IRC for a while. Got one helluva misunderstanding from Shini, who thought i was showing off that i have the song. Good heavens, like i need to massage my ego like dat...NOT!!

After that, i did some thinking. Especially about my IRC conversation with Aegis yesterday. I now have serious thoughts about if i should stick around the team as it is, as NY30C right now is not the NY30C i joined 6 months ago. It is hard to put in words, but i get the feeling that the "supermen" are dominating, and the "average" people like me, Max, Rain and Baby Tong, Specz etc. are the ones being sidelined in the process. We all joined NY30C to be a part of a group of friends who just loved to play ID. Now it's just records, records, records...And those who cannot show results be dammed. The only reason i have held back on leaving the team for now is out of respect for some of the older NY30C members, who helped me alot. It is sad, but i guess i eventually have to let go, it is just a matter of time. I just hope that i can look back on this and say "Well guys, it was fun..."

HOT HOT HOT.....

2004-11-09T09:41:00.000+08:00

Wonder why i havent updated this place for so long? Try doing it with a 39 degree fever running thru u....

Sat: Attended the BBQ that my Computer Club organised. I wasnt really of much help, because i already had a slight fever running thru me, but since i didnt want to be a party-pooper, i just endured it. Ate some food, tried to help out where i could, but at 8:30, i couldnt take it anymore, and decided to leave. Took some panadol and knocked off.

Sun: Felt better in the morning (or so i thought), so went out in the afternoon to Atrium with KY. Played around abit, was really totally off-form (heck, i couldnt even shift my R34's gear properly). It was very obvious when i was playing vs Despo and Dong, that the matches i won, i won thru complete luck and blocking, because half the time i was coughing and wheezing like mad. Even so, i also took on a level 15 FD Spirit (how rare...) who decided to haul me to mad-ass maps my R34 cannot run, like Akina and Usui. I was so fed-up (and the fact i was feeling like fark doesnt help), i hauled his ass to Tuban wet!! After that i got 4 more consec wins from him, before he gave up. Went home with KY, plopped on the bed and popped even more panadol to deal with the now-emerging fever.

Mon: Felt like a POS (the thermometer showed 39 degrees!!), so didnt go to school. Didnt really do much, as most of the time i was trying to sleep off the panadol. Tried Maple Story in the evening when i felt alot better, wierd game...lol

IT'S ALIVE...ALIVE!!!

2004-11-06T08:26:00.000+08:00

Thurs:
Finally got the embedded PC to work. Firstly, Gabriel brought an old AT PSU from a Pentium set to power the embedded PC. After alot of wiring, i stuck in the 32M SODIMM that i had. Didnt work, so got from the supervisor another stick of 32M RAM. Found out that i just didnt stick it in properly (LOL!!). Now i have power and RAM, but no HDD. Problem was solved though, because our supervisor managed to find a old Sony VAIO notebook that the school wanted to scrap, because the motherboard was fried. Decided to perform some "organ transplant", and ripped out the 12G HDD and the 128M SODIMM. Plugged it all in, and IT WORKS!!! IT'S ALIVE...ALIVE!! Spent the rest of the day partitioning and formating the HDD and shoved the system command files on it to boot up to DOS. Went to Atrium for a while after school, played a few rounds with Ryo's GC8V, then went home to slack...

Fri:
Couldnt find any Win98 CD in the house, so brought a Win 95 OSR2 CD instead. What a bloody antique indeed...lol. Installed it on the embedded PC, just to see if the set is working properly. Indeed it does, very well in fact. but supervisor not happy with such a museum piece for OS, so asked the TSO for Win 98. Turns out they only have Win 98 1st edition (which i remember has issues with this embedded PC), so grabbed Win ME from the NP server and installed it. Wonderful, now the embedded PC turns from a museum piece to a Fisher-Price toy...

Anyway, went to Dover MRT to meet Maurice, talked quite abit on the train about alot of things. Passed him back all his cars, so now my wallet is considerably lighter...lol. Anyway, went there, 1st thing....find someone to battle!! AND1 AKA Boliao Boi AKA the Noisy One was there, fishing people with his Evo IV. Too bad Xueliang lost twice in his Evo VII, giving him 3 consec wins and allowing him to give us the slip...one day he'll be ours to smash. Decided to battle Ryo's GC8V, didnt really fare that well, but somehow got level 25 on my R34 (Orange aura looks nice on a black R34).

Had dinner at LJS with the rest of the NY30C gang, with Dong going around grabbing dinner scraps to eat from the rest..lol. Had a few more battles, with Alex's GC8V dropping my level briefly by pulling out all my weak maps...lol, but got it back and made it stable by somehow squeezing 3 consec wins out of Z's GC8V on Tuban. Stuck around for a while, then decided to go home. Lent my brother my laptop to watch 4th Stage Episode 7 and 8, he was rolling his eyeballs after seeing all the mushy lines that they gave Kyoko in Episode 8...lol. Knocked off at around 12am, and woke up just now at 8am to type this...

So much for past few days...

2004-11-04T10:45:00.000+08:00

Tues:
Attended some talk held by a company that somehow managed to combine a HC11 microprocessor with Ethernet capabilities, much to the insistance of my project supervisor. WTH, if i've known of this product 4 months earlier, it would have been the perfect solution to all our problems, but now? Abit too late...well i guess u cant have everything. Not to mention the modified C coding for it ensures a very steep learning curve, i think we'll stick with what we have. After the talk, went to Atrium for a while, played a few rounds vs Z's R32, and didnt really fare that well. On the plus side, after that i sat down and clear LOTS with Maurice's FC and Celica. While i was playing around with his RX8, someone in a EG6 challenged me to Akagi DH. i screwed up very badly, had the RX8 wheel-lock on me at the corner at CP3, and he overtook. For a EG6 he ran Akagi bloody fast, so i decided that someone like him needs my main car to deal with. Brought him back to Akagi DH, won the match by blocking him all the way to CP1. He brings me back to Akagi, but picks UH and lost. Then he got desperate and selected Happo IB. Managed to pull him 300m on this way, after which i left.

Wed:
School was bloody boring, STILL no power supply for my embedded PC board, so i ended up playing CS:CZ with my project mates for 5 hours straight (YIKES!!). Went to Atrium for a while, met Z in his GC8V. Had a few matches with him, fared quite abit better today, not to mention i got back my level 24 as well. There was one match on Tuban IB wet where his GC8V somehow managed to cut thru and overtake me thru a hole i could have sworn was too small to squeeze even a Capp thru....wierd. Went back home, had my laptop hijacked by my little brother, who proceeded to use it to brush up his CS skills...LOL

Bah...how boring

2004-11-02T09:56:00.000+08:00

Yesterday in school was one of the most boliao i ever had. The supervisor didnt get the PSU for the embedded PC board, so i had practically nothing to do. Sian-sation.

Went to Atrium to play abit. This takes the record for least amount of money spent on ID in a single day, with a grand total of $3, and 6 matches....lol. 1st stop was a R34 driver, who i won on Akina DH quite easily. He selected Tuban IB, because he was on the advantage lane. What a joke, i won startup anyway and won the match. 2nd opponent was a RX8 that i hammered on Tuban OB. He pops in a GDB (YAWN...), brings me to Akina DH, and proceeds to LOSE STARTUP TO MY R34!! 1st time i have had to wait for an opponent on Akina in a very long while...lol. He puts back in his RX8 and brings me to Akagi DH, where i got my 3 consec wins. Only other match was one vs a RX8 driven by a newbie (i was using Maurice's Sil80) on Akina, in which i almost felt like i was bullying him. Met Kuan Yu there, who lent his Evo IV to Lex to rape records left, right and center (now i know where all the ungodly timings come from).

Went home with KY, grabbed some dinner, chatted with a few people on MSN and IRC, then knocked off. Now i'm stuck in a lecture today...lol

Bummer of memories and phones...

2004-11-01T01:50:00.000+08:00

Got bored today, so went out in the afternoon with KY to Bugis, to help him look out for his new phone in the shops. My goodness, the selection of phones nowadays can boggle people's minds. MMC, Symbian, cameras....what happened to the simple phone u used to CALL SOMEONE?? Anyway, we checked out the prices, then KY wanted to go look for a RS-MMC card as well for his N-Gage. We ended up trekking all around Sim Lim to look for it, finally found one shop on the fourth floor selling 512M for $117.

After all of that was done, we went to Atrium for a while to play around. Today was the 1st time i ever see a level 25 180SX. I chie-ed the fellow with my R34 to Happo IB. He lost (and i got back my level 23) so he rechallenged me back to Akagi DH, which i also won. Then his friend yanks out a lvl 24 GDB (YAWN....) and pulls me to Iro DH. He KPKB because i left the boost on (yeah, like GDB vs R34 on Iro is supposed to be a fair match....FARK U!!), which i lost anyway. Borrowed Despo's R32 and taught the fellow a lesson in manners on Tuban OB.

Played alot of other matches with KY's RX8 and Evo IV, in which his RX8 got his aura. Then we decided to leave, because it was getting late at 7pm (because i had dinner waiting at home). Got back, ate dinner, found a PD member buay song in the TAG board with my blog mentioning PD. All i have to say is that it's my blog, i have the right to say whatever i want to say, and u not happy, DONT READ....

Dumb Emperor kids

2004-10-31T02:16:00.000+08:00

Went to Chinatown ZoneX to play on Saturday afternoon (because it was ladder day and i didnt feel like showing my face to everyone else, especially the so-called bunch of stravags from the so-called Project Dynamic....)

Played around abit, had a few encounters with the kids from Emperor. Stupid kids, either they use their Evos and bring my R34 to Iro DH, or they pull out a GDB (EMPEROR MY ASS, HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!). It makes for a very interesting encounter, and now i miss my own GDB to kill these dumb arrogant farks (Wow, GDB win R34 on Akina DH, i'm so impressed....NOT!!!)

Best was one little kid that disturbed me when i was toying around with Maurice's Celica. He dragged me to Akagi DH with his Evo III, where i proceeded to rape him by 250m. Next, he changes to a GC8V and brings me to Usui left. I won by mad-ass blocking, with him complaining that blocking is unfair...lol. Soon after that i saw the same kid asking his sister to pump his Evo III's level. Eventually the sister got sick of doing it, and i decided to teach this kid a lesson. I sat down and this is what happened

Me: "Hello, remember the Celica i play vs u just now?"
Him: "Yah, level 4 only, right?
Me: "Actually that was my friend's car. This is mine..."

I proceeded to shove in the R34. If he could have vomitted blood, we would have needed an ambulance, from the shock of seeing the R34's level 22. That made my day, lol...

Now testing: NFSU2 Demo

2004-10-28T07:53:00.000+08:00

Havent updated this place in a while, been busy with my final year project and stuff...

Anyway, on IDAS side, i havent had much luck. My R34 got leveled down to 22 due to too many consec losses, a solid reminder of how out of practice i am. Most of my timings these days are 2 or 3 secs off my usual, which is pretty bad to say the least. Oh well, when i get abit more money, i'll go back and practice full-time...

Last Saturday, instead of IDAS, i went to Kuan Yu's place to play DND and D20 Modern. 1st time trying out D20 Modern, although i think KY must have gotten a heart attack trying to DM this game, with us trying to run the whole game like an action movie (with our characters shooting everyone in sight and jumping into a helicopter in mid-air....lol)

Got NFSU2 Demo yesterday, too bad only one car in the demo, the 350Z (i never understood the Americans' obsession with the 350Z, it's a gas-guzzling monster that seems to be catered towards those who think "BIGGER ENGINE=MORE POWDERFUL"). Anyway, the games was quite fun, but due to my PC's crap specs, i had to turn down alot of eye-candy. I was amused and surprised however to find a few things.

1) U now have to drift with TRAFFIC on the road...yikes

2) There's a section of the city map with 3 consec hairpins. My brother likes to call them "the Akina hairpins" due to the way they look. Too bad no gutters...lol

3) The Outrun mode is pretty nice. It works like this, u find a random car on the road, challenge it and u're supposed to drag the bugger by 300m to win, and prevent the other fellow from overtaking u and doing the same to U.

The full game will prove interesting...anyway, a little screenshot for u. Doesnt look nice, but it's with alot of details turned off, my poor PC cant handle the game

One of the so-called "Akina hairpins". Look at the mini-map and u will get what i mean...lol

EXAMS ARE OVER!! SONGBO.COM.SG!!

2004-10-20T18:00:00.000+08:00

Finally something to be happy about. My exams are over, except for a brief scare of me being accused of cheating (which got cleared up quickly). Only problem is that VPP is next week....WTF...

Also been playing SIMS 2 over the weekend during study breaks. My characters defy belief in their behavior. The husband caught the wife "Woohoo-ing" the FEMALE neighbour, and in revenge, decided to gay with the MALE neighbour in revenge. The teenage son is trying to bang every girl in the neighbourhood, and the house itself looks like a architectual nitemare. In short, my SIMS are a very-screwed-up bunch of people. Hope this is not a sign of things to come...lol

Depression sets in....

2004-10-15T20:07:00.000+08:00

I dunno what to think of myself now. Last night i got myself tipsy on some beer in the fridge. Wasnt anyone's occasion, it's been way too long since there was any happy thing in this house to celebrate about. More like i was seeking escape, from all the bullshit i've had to endure recently.

Uncle Sad's birthday is today, i wish him well. But birthdays have always been bittersweet occasions for me. My family stopped celebrating mine a long time ago, ever since the time my screwed-up elder brother turned it into an occasion to argue with the family over his girlfriend turning up. I've gotten used to just passing it with no fanfare. Heck, there was once i ended up drunk and alone on the street wishing myself i was somewhere else instead. Happy birthday indeed....

My IDAS team wants to have a chalet around that time this year, do i let them know? Chances are i doubt they could be bothered, so i guess it will be the usual. To makes things worse Marisa probably can't make it back for the December holidays. Sad and alone in Singapore, what a wonderful combo...

But what does everyone care? My exams are next week, i've stuck with an exam for a module i utterly hate and i'll be lucky if i even pass. I know i must do well, if only to get into a local U and show my brother that he's not the only one that's so "smart". After what happened recently, to say that i hate him would be an understatement. He has poisoned my dad's mind towards me and my younger siblings, to the extent that no matter what i do, i will always be the "useless" one. I've given up on this family as a whole, the moment i get the chance i'm going to leave, and to hell with what everyone says. I only need to bide my time till then...

To complicate matters, i have the side of me that i keep under more "normal" pretenses. Only a few people, like Marisa and Maurice know about it. I've known about it since i was in secondary school. I knew i was different from every other guys in school, and to have to hide it is an act that i do, not because i want to, but because i need to. I'm still hiding it even today, not even my best friend of 9 years knows about it. Sometimes I wish there was a day where i no longer have to run, i no longer have to hide, but in Singapore that day will probably never come.

I'll go to one corner and probably cry for a while. I feel i need it...

Fun in pink...

2004-10-13T20:10:00.000+08:00

Got bored today, so went out just now to Simei to try out Maurice's pink Sil80.

It's an interesting car to use, drives totally unlike my R34. Ran a few TAs with this car. Managed to get 2:48 for Tuban OB, 3:10 for Shomaru OB (could have been 3:08. but for a massive wheellock), 2:28 for Akagi DH, 3:30 for Akina snow DH and 3:09 for Iro DH. The 2:48 on Tuban was the one that shocked spectators, since noone expected a Silvia to get that fast...apparently they've never met Princess before....lol

Also left a few messages on their Tuban OB screen with my Evo V. 2:44 (YUCKS!!) on both machines due to wheellocks, but it was enough to scare them....lol

A New Light?

2004-10-11T19:13:00.000+08:00

Just finished my FIT test and my INT miniproject report. Submitted them all, and now i have the chance to blog my thoughts...

Today for the 1st time, my wallet feels rather light. No more big stack of IDAS cards in there as well as the ZoneX card. Also finally saw some comments from people in the NY30C forum. Z tells me to go take a break for a while, while Lam Dong gave me some words of advice on IRC. Now i must decide what to do...

For my R34, it is very tempting to hop back into the fray with it, but i know that using it carries a price. Once i use the R34, i have a reputation and a standard to uphold, which is the reason i am at the end of my tethers now. For now, i will seal it and leave it aside, until i feel i am ready to get back full-time. If on the other hand, i do not want to use the R34 anymore, i might pass it along to someone who i think is worthy of it (in attitute and spirit, not necessarily in skill). To sell it would be unthinkable, for this car has been with me since i was a newbie....

At the same time, the fact that Maurice passed me all his IDAS cards have opened a new door for me. Lam Dong and Shini said to try out a 5-gear car for a change, and maybe i'll settle on Maurice's pink Sil80 as a new car. I'll see if that idea is worth pursuing...

A hard decision

2004-10-10T21:48:00.000+08:00

It was hard to come to this decision, but i have no choice. I will take a break from IDAS, maybe permanently, and if i do come back chances are it probably wont be with my beloved R34.

Due to several factors, but the main reason would be my losing my temper over a loss to Polar's RX8 from Project D on Saturday. Even i myself am appalled at my own behavior. I know it is a part of my personality that i cannot deny, but that does not make it any more excuse-able. Some people may call me mad, some may say i deserve to be locked up in IMH, but these people do not see, they do not know how it feels to be not in control of urself.

Some people say, i depend too much on my R34's power and pickup to win, and that i "bully" people with it. At this point in time, i feel rather inferior to everyone else in NY3OC, to people like Shini, James and Channon. I have crap-shit for TA timings, and i only know how to block my way to victory. Am i that useless? Maybe, maybe not, but it gives me serious food for thought. At the very least i better take some time off, lest i become a liability to the team.

I posted my decision on the NY30C forum. Alot of views, but not a single comment. Noone in the team will really misses me, so maybe my decision is the right one. I'm sure some of them, like Alex would only be too happy to see the "the dumb fark in the R34" leave.

I still like cars IRL with a passion, but i know the grim reality of my life. The chances of me ever being able to even have a normal life, let alone own the car of my dreams, is but a distant hope that fades further every single day.

Spastic fools in Evo IVs

2004-10-09T10:27:00.000+08:00

KNN, yesterday would come under the category of "WTF??!!". But 1st, Thursday..

Thursday: No lesson until the FIT test at 3pm, so i went to JP for a while to try out my TA and maybe have a few battles. The machine next to mind had a spoilt reader, so there was a guy from Project D asked me if i was going to take long. I told him that i had 15 bucks left on my card and i'll be using it up most likely, so he asked the lady at the counter to fix the reader. Once that was done, he went to TA his Iro DH (which was around 2:58 in a Evo IV), so i switched my green light on. Later on, someone asked him (was it Happo Queen? not sure...) this

Her: Hey why dont u chie the R34?
Him: What for? Waste my time..

KNN!! i know u farking fast, and u probably want to concentrate on TA (which i respect), but ur statement really makes it sound like u see my R34 no up. Farking hell, i know ur Evo IV Tuban OB 2:41, my R34 one only 2:46. I STILL SEE UR EVO IV NO UP, UNDERSTAND??!!

I was so mad i sat at the machine and clobbered almost all the R34 car records on it. After that i went to vent my frustation on a lvl 13 RX8. Turns out i was so pissed i raped the poor bastard by 200+m on Akina DH wet, and by 100+m on Tuban OB...TWICE

After some rampaging, i went to school to sit for the FIT test. Only got 70% because of my partner not knowing how to configure his router...GRRRRRR

Friday: Didnt do much in the morning, finished off Serious Sam 2 and went to Atrium in the evening to meet Maurice and Bryan. 1st of, had a match with a Evo IV (nick: 5354) who left boost on on Happo. Had a few more matches with him, including one where my R34 lost pickup to his Evo IV due to Hypez's misshifting my R34 (note to self: CASTRATE HIM WITH BARE HANDS)

After that, had a few matches with Z's GC8V. very close fights all of them, with me winning some and him winning some. I really need to train my uphill maps, since i got passed so easily on Akagi UH. Tuban OB was a big shocker, he tried the oil-cutting technique but his GC8V slammed into the wall and i passed him back.

Had dinner with Maurice and Bryan, Maurice passed me his GT4 and i had some fun with it trying it out on Akina Snow. Got 3:28 with ALOT of mistakes. Then when i was TA-ing Akagi DH with the GT4, some little kid pulled out a Evo IV and brought me to Akagi UH, raped him until songbo.com (HAHAHAHHAAH) Stupid kid then pulls me to Iro DH and i got overtaken at the 1st hairpin...GRRRR. it's SKYLINE TIME!! Pulled his Evo IV to Happo IB, dragged him 600m, he pulled me to iro DH and reversed himself on hairpin 2 (HAHAHAHAHAH) he picked Iro DH again and he won using the jumps. I brought him to snow and thrashed him 650m, he brings me to Iro DH AGAIN and wins as well. By this time i was so steamed i brought him to Happo wet and dragged him 500m as well (despite me dragging my 5th gear after CP3). He brings me back to Iro DH AGAIN!! By this time, Budong was KPKB-ing "Wah, Iro DH again...SIBEH SIANZ!!". The dumb fark reversed himself AGAIN, and i was so tulan that on the last straight i flashed my brakelights at him!! Evo IV being flashed by R34 on Iro DH on last straight, SONGBO.COM!!

Busy week indeed

2004-10-06T19:35:00.000+08:00

Yes yes, i know i havent updated for a while...

For the past few days, i thought i have seen everything in IDAS, but this is a 1st time i have had an Altezza pull my R34 to Shomaru and lose pickup!! He did it twice as well, got lvled up to 24 but kena dragged back down by my 8 consec losses to KW's RX8!! SIANZ...

To cool off, i decided to go on a TA rampage with the R34 over the last few days. Reduced my Happo IB and Akagi DH to both 2:28, Akina DH to 3:10. But the biggest shocker was Akina Snow DH. Today i finally managed to pull a 3:25, after being stuck at 3:28 for so long (yesh i know, my snow suxs for a R34). Also managed to clear 15 star Shomaru Bunta.

Had a few battles today in both my R34 and ER34, mostly vs fishers who were bullying the newbies at Atrium today. Won all of them, including a GDB that lost to my ER34 on Iro UH dry!! The same fellow then puts in a RX8 and pulls me to Akina DH, only to lose pickup to my ER34...WTF!! Also encountered the SJI guys that Kuan Yu was talking about there. I chie-ed one of them, who was driving a Evo IV, had a rather close match with my R34 vs him on Usui CCW wet which i won (note to self: practice Usui wet)

In any case in other matters, school today was farking dumb. Only turned up for 15 minutes to give a presentation for my Java miniproject (WTF...i woke up at 7 in the morning for 15 mins in school!!). Also got a phone call from Deckker yesterday, talked about Battletech stuff, wish i had more time to talk to him though. But sometimes i wonder if he's inwardly still mad at me for what happened over the past year or so. I remembered him telling me that i had the one thing that he did not have. I know what it is, and it is for this that i do not dare to face him with it.

What a Sunday...

2004-10-04T12:07:00.000+08:00

Got bored on Sunday, so went out in the afternoon. Just walked around my neighbourhood for a while, when on impulse i decided to go to Atrium instead, wearing only a pair of shorts and a polo tee (i usually wear jeans or pants if going to town). Bu^dong's wildest fantasies must have come true from staring at my legs (color wolf...lol), while Uncle Sad, Shini and Hypez just went "WTF??" at my attire...HAHAHAHA

Had several matches, including with Idiotcat, where i lost to his Capp on snow vs my ER34 (note to self: PRACTICE SNOW ON FR), two with Channon which i lost due to a faulty gear-stick (AAARRRRGGGHHHH!!!!). I went to simmer for a while, then met Yong Kiat and decided to have a whole round of battles with him. Lost on Usui, Akina and Iro, but won on Akagi (what a surprise!!), Happo and Tuban. Had a few more matches with him after that, and he managed to level up his FC to 23 from leeching off me....LOL....

Joked around with the guys for a while, then went back home. Got scolded by mum for staying out so late (and for blowing so much $$$), chatted abit with Yong Kiat on IRC about the earlier matches and some team matters, then went to sleep

What a day...

2004-10-02T10:55:00.000+08:00

Friday: Morning had nothing in school, except for the OSN mini-project presentation. Did quite ok on it, except for some typo errors on the powerpoint slides (OOOOPS!!)

Afternoon, went down to atrium to try and play around with my Evo V. Nobody to chie, end up chie Walter with my R34 instead. I end up getting pulled to all the funny maps, because he very 'hungry'(he wants to eat my level 23 R34)....hahahahaha.

Also had some very fun matches with Z's Evo IV, lost on Akagi and Usui right but won everywhere else. Also chie-ed a FD from Project D (i think, cant remember who he is..) Lost on Iro (note to self: figure out how to take the jumps properly in R34) but won on all the other maps, even Akina (ultimate blockage...hahahahaha)

Of battles, times and such

2004-09-29T23:24:00.000+08:00

Went to school today, and did my Java miniproject. Stupid database thingy...grrrr. Anyway once that was out of the way, i immediately went to JP to try and tune up my Evo V. Ended up battling Lam Dong and KW as well with my R34. The most tense was the one vs Lam's Evo III on Akagi DH. I swear i blocked like i never blocked before to win. (too bad i lost earlier on Akina DH due to silly mistake on the RHOD). KW had worse luck today, out of around 5 or 6 matches he only won one, and that was on Iro DH with his GC8V. Got my level 23 for the R34 today....YAY!! Too bad didnt get to see the aura change color, because noone wanted to challenge it afterwards.

My Evo V had better luck, i got chie-ed left right center by alot of newbies, and it climbed 2 battles levels if i'm not wrong. Also changed the wheels to the Enkei 5-spokes, making the car more stable on Tuban. Managed to do a 2.43 on OB with this car, now at 700K (yesh i know i sux...hahahaha)

After that, met with Maurice and Bryan, and talked to him regarding matters in their Life Arts club. i won't bore u with the tedious details, suffice to say it's quite an affair. Had some sushi from the Jap supermarket at Liang Court for dinner, and on the way back home, had the longest conversation regarding sci-fi with Maurice, from Star Trek to Babylon 5 all the way from Raffles Place to Simei where he got off with Bryan.

Must sleep now. Seeya....

Of things as such...

2004-09-28T01:06:00.000+08:00

Went to Bedok today with Kuan Yu, managed to do 2:44 on Tuban OB with my now-600K Evo V. Not much, but it's a start.

Guess i offended some people again. it all started quite ok, with me having a GB match with Alex and all. Then i have to open my big mouth and comment on the challenge boost on the Clementi machines, and how it caught me by surprise. Now they all think i'm crazy and an SOB. I go up, and i plunge back down instead. If somehow after all my efforts to "socialise" and whatnot, i cannot get along with the others in NY30C, i might actually consider leaving. As things stand, i dont really feel like part of the team anymore, not like the beginning when i was at least on talking terms with almost everyone. Now i feel like some spare tire instead. I understand what Uncle Sad is doing is for the best of the team, which is all the more why i feel miserable at this point in time...

i'm tired, maybe i'll sleep it off and think about it tomorrow....

Of IDAS, team matters and whatnot

2004-09-27T15:59:00.000+08:00

Been thinking alot this whole afternoon, about what has happened to our IDAS community. From the way i see it, i see dark clouds forming, of which will eventually rain black rain upon everyone if noone takes heed. i know i probably would get censured for this, but certain events in the team have made me uneasy. Maybe this is how a team runs, but that does not mean i have to like it.

I have seen this happen before, only last time it was the local Battletech community. I see the IDAS community proceeding towards the same fate now. Maybe what a certain FD driver told me was right, we all play this game for fun, not for the politics. If i wanted to play politics, i go run for Singapore elections.

Sometimes i wish for the simpler days, when i was a blur newbie in his R34 in version 2. I suxed really bad, but at least i didn't have to get vexed with this kind of decisions, since i played for fun. I may have a level 22 R34 now, but compared to the others, i still feel so small and inferior. I get the sensation that i cannot live up to what my favourite car is capable of. I do not have the time, the resources or the talent to be anywhere near as good as people like Shini, James or Channon...

Also started thinking about how life has been to me. Sometimes i wonder if i will ever be normal. The doctors told me a long time ago that i do not have the mental disorders the way that my younger brother does. But sometimes, i get the feeling that part of what he is, i am as well, since the same doctors did put me as high-risk once. Somehow i can never relate to most of the other people in my life. i brood, i talk to myself and i make a damm fool of myself in almost everything i do. Even with the one i love, i am at a loss to handle it as per what anyone else should do. Is it me? I dunno anymore. My elder brother deems me useless, my father treats me like a spare tire and other people try to be polite for the sake of being polite. I cant stand it anymore...

Sunday Initial D.....

2004-09-26T22:13:00.000+08:00

Didnt do anything in the morning, apart from playing abit of Gunbound and just generally lazing around.

In the evening, got bored, so i gave Bryan a call to go with him for dinner. Turns out he wanted to eat dinner at home, so we ended up playing IDAS instead. He was tuning up his Evo III, i was tuning up my Evo V. So for fun, laughter, peace and joy i played a few rounds with him. I lost on Akagi (because i wheellock on the 1st of the consecs...wahahaha), but won on Iro DH (because i hopped over his Evo III at the last jump) and Akina DH. Then for the fun of it, decided to play TA with the 550K Evo V. Turns out i did 2:45 on Tuban OB with the car (i surprise myself sometimes...lol), despite a big accident at the tight hairpins after the tunnels. Saw Bryan off, then went to the nearby kopi-tiam to grab some grub. Then went back alone to the arcade to try Bunta with my BNR34. Finally managed to clear Happo 10 and Tuban 10...YAY!!

Good and Bad luck in IDAS....grumble grumble

2004-09-25T23:47:00.000+08:00

Friday:
Went to school, slept thru everything (except for OSN lab, where i ended up doing my sendmail server, with alot of help from the lecturer), then went to NP Computer Club meeting. Didnt really see many people turn up, but the old presidents of the club were there, so ended up talking alot about army life with them (ORD loh!! SONGBO.COM). Left the place when Maurice called and asked to meet up with me.

Went to Atrium, played with my Evo V vs Cher using Lex's Evo V, with her in right lane. Overtook her at the last hairpin on Tuban OB. She was yelping about how drifty the Evo V is, so she put in a GC8V and brings me back there. I overtook her at the 1st hairpin, with her screaming in that shrill voice of hers....lol.

Had a few other matches, including with a Evo III that was so brave, he brought my ER34 to Akagi UH (note sarcasm). I got bored and brought him to Happo IB wet. He responded by shoving in a GDB and bringing me to Akina UH, with himself on right lane, i lose like shit, so i got pissed and brought him to Iro UH wet!! Used blind attack with my headlights to overtake him at the hairpins at the jumps.

Saturday:
Went to Atrium, had really lousy luck today. Played a few rounds with Channon's R34, i still need to work on my pickup for my R34, which always lose to his (and he's now level 23...DIAOZ). Also battled with a Evo V with the nick of YING. Only managed to win on Happo and a few other matches, lost on others due to stupid mistakes....GRRRR. Also watched the matches of Project Nitian vs NY30C. I was seeing it as a neutral observer, which puts me in a rather unconfortable position. Offically i should be rooting for NY30C, but i also have some support for Nitian, since they are the ones who helped me in the beginning. The result was 5-1 in favour of NY30C. Also did something which i swore never to do again, i pulled out my old GDB to fight an Altezza. I hope it is not a sign of things to come, because even though i won the Altezza 3 times in a row, i felt that those victories were...cheap, because on those 3 matches (Tuban OB, Iro UH and Akina DH), i felt i won due to the car and not due to my skills.

After that, went to Kuan Yu's house to play a DND campaign that Sam was DMing. It was fun, but somehow, Kuan Yu trying to start World War III in a restaurant over bargaining for cheaper food really made everyone go "WTF??". Overall it was ok, and it would be interesting to see how things go.....

Nice car i saw...

2004-09-23T21:30:00.000+08:00

Didnt do much today, except for a very frustrating session of Cisco networking (with us being all blur about it...)

Anyway, saw this at canteen 3 in Ngee Ann. Doesnt look like much, but it looks nice. Wonder who drives it though...

Front of the MR-S

Back of the MR-S

COUGH....hahahaha.....COUGH....

2004-09-23T10:10:00.000+08:00

Argh, been sick these past few days, especially on Mon and Tues, coughing and sneezing non-stop is no fun, i cant tell u that.

Seems to be better on Wed, so after school (which was bloody boring), went to JP to go tune up my A-tune Evo V. As usual, left the green on. Before i know it, i have a S2K challenge....and bring me to Iro DH!! DIAOZ...i overtook at the 2nd hairpin. He chooses Akagi DH and i overtake him at the RHOD. Being weird, he puts in a DC2 and bring me back to Iro DH (what does he think this is, version 2? hahahahaha...). 3 consec wins, so i tap credit, and he brings me to Akina Snow!! Dont blame me if the fish wants to get bitten again and again, so it becomes 4 consec wins. After that, the guy left, and KW took out his new R34 and bring me to Akagi DH. i lose like crazy because i wheellock at the hairpins at CP1, so i rechallenge back on Tsuchisaka OB. I tried to overtake at the oil slick, but got slammed into the wall by the R34 instead....DIAOZ...nice game though.

After that, continued tuning the Evo V. Some kids went to bug me with a Evo IV, and bring me to Tsuchisaka OB (i'm on the right lane). Led to a series on matches where i end up winning like crazy on all of them. The kids end up asking me "Is the Evo V the supercar in the game?". i replied that it's a pretty fast car, so they all sat down and bought themselves an Evo V each!! WAHAHAHAHAHAHA, talk about a really good laugh, i'll love to see their faces when they realise how drifty and wild the Evo V is compared to their Evo IVs....;-)

RIP: A stupid moron in a Evo IV

2004-09-19T22:45:00.000+08:00

Went to bugis today with Maurice, met a few of the gang there. Went to play, popped in my 150K Evo5 and switched on green. Sure enuff, somebody in a 700K FC brings me to Akina DH. Won startup and the match, so he pulls out a FT lvl 17 Evo5 and brings me back there. Lost startup and the match, so i popped in the BNR34. Brought him to Akina DH, made a bad mistake on the last of the consecs and lost the match. Never mind, i brought him to Happo Fulu wet and banged him by 450m. He brought me to Iro DH and overtook me at the jumps. Never mind, SJ told me to bring him to Tuban, but i decided on Akina UH wet. Won the match, so he pops out Tuban Fulu, hoping to win startup, since he's on the left. Showed him R34 backside on start instead and banged him 250m. His friend comes in with a Evo4 and brings me to Iro UH dry. The dumb fark reversed himself on one hairpin and i won the match (3 consec wins, YAHOO!!). Then they decided to go disturb Uncle Sad instead. Some people never learn....

After that, went with Maurice to Nakamoto's place in Park Lane, where he brought some new Gundam model for a pretty good price, after that, we went to Tampines for dinner, after which we went to the arcade upstairs. Didnt play, although we did see this R34 who kept tormenting this FD on Myogi. Turns out on other courses the R34 driver sux bigtime (WOW, TAKE ALL AKINA HAIRPINS ON 3RD GEAR...)

Now back home, typing this blog. Nitey....

A Great Many Battles....and NY30C stuff as well

2004-09-18T23:09:00.000+08:00

Didnt do nuts in the morning, so waited around till around 2, when i left the house to go to Bugis for the NY30C meeting. Saw the whole gang there, battled another BNR34 driver as well. Got my ass handed to me on Tsuchisaka IB, but beat him on Akina snow 1st.

Cant really say much about the NY30C meeting (one of those i-could-tell-u-but-then-i-have-to-kill-u things...). After the meeting, i decided to play abit with my BNR34. Max come and chie me Akagi DH, and i got overtaken on the last of the consec hairpins...DIAOZ. Never mind, i choose Akina DH (FEEL THE POWER OF R34 BLOCK!!) and won. He choose Iro DH and somehow i managed to keep him behind me at the jumps. Got a 3:09 in that battle (GRRRR, why i never get it in TA i dunno...). After Max got up, Baby Tong come and chie me. 1st she go to Tsuchisaka OB, and i won. Then i got brought to Happo IB 3 times in a row, twice by Tong herself and another by her friend. Got leveled up to 22 from the 6 consec wins.

Then went to Atrium, tried out my ER34 on Akina Bunta 7. Not much luck there, then i decided to chie Zaki and his black FD. Suffice to say that there were soooo many battles i lost count, but i think we were pretty even on the score. Did some TA, my Tsuchisaka IB timing on my BNR34 is now around 2:48, but no luck reducing my OB timing.

Oh well, time to retire for the night....

Sian-sation in school....

2004-09-18T01:15:00.000+08:00

School is boring as usual, with me actively nodding off in the lecture theatres these days. Heck for the fun of it, i even fall asleep during tutorials...For OSN, trying to configure the sendmail thing is proving to be a pain in the ass, i dont even know where to start!! Attended some boring lecture about PD2 on Thurs at 5, just to brief us on what to expect during VPP. The part about industrial visits interests me though, for i know who the heck i want to visit, the damm company that produces the bloody EZ-Link card reader that we seek for so long!!

Also had a function today, my Computer Club president "arrowed" me and Xiao Wei to go. It was just some little thing about the chairman of NP wanting to see all his new student leaders or something like that. Socialising and talking sweet nothings to people i hardly know is NOT my idea of fun (Good thing makan was free though, although our club president, being the stingy little Gollum that he is, decided to "ta pow" some of the food back)

IDAS-side, havent really done much. Played a few battles vs Bryan's R34 today, got blocked like crazy on Tsuchisaka OB and i lost. Never mind, i pick Iro DH and won (note to self: practice Iro. i got overtaken on the 1st hairpin, good thing i got the lead back on the 2nd). Tried a bit of Bunta on the ER34, with any luck it'll have 7 total Bunta stars soon. Also tried out Maurice's new Celica today. Fast as hell on Akagi, but drifty as heck as well. Drives like a dump on Tsuchisaka, i even lost to Bunta 1 on that map while trying out the Celica!!

Got home, played abit of Gunbound, crapped abit on IRC. Now it's time to sleep. zzzzzzzz.....

#&%#%&% CDRW Drive, Gunbound adventures and whatnot...

2004-09-16T08:39:00.000+08:00

These past few days have been rather boring. Got nagged at by my Mum every single morning. Also got some money from doing a few odd jobs here and there. Not much, but its enough for me to pay off some people and maybe play abit of IDAS this weekend. Also discovered that my notebook's CDRW drive just went cuckoo on me (i suspect due to WinXP SP2). No matter what SMLJ software i use, i ended up generating lovely golden coasters instead. GRRRRRRR.......

Gunbound was quite a blast over the past few days. Even though my GP hasnt really risen that much, at least i think i am getting pretty ok with the A.sate and Grub. Also saw my brother trying to pump his new GB account to get it up to Metal Axe so he can start trading. He ended up promising someone else his entire FF MP3 collection for someone to help him pump...hahahahaha...

Anyway on the IDAS side, at least things have been a little better. My Shomaru OB timing on my R34 is now down to 3:08, and its Tsuchisaka OB timing is around 2:46.9xx. now just need to figure out how to make it a proper 2:46 (instead of a "almost" 2:47), and then i'll deal with Tsuchisaka IB (which i have left at 2:50, which i set like 4 months ago, in May...heheheh). Also had some battles here and there, esp with a GDB that lost pickup and the match to my ER34 on Happo IB (WTF??), When he eventually brings me to Akina Snow and beats my ER34, i went cuckoo and brought him to Iro UH wet with the ER34. He was so pissed he left the boost on and let me go 1st (FAT LOT OF GOOD IT DID HIM, MUAHAHAHAHAHA...)

Back to lecture....sianz

A boliao pic i found yesterday...And some thoughts

2004-09-14T11:15:00.000+08:00

Dumb things i find on the Net...WTF

Didnt do much, played abit of Gunbound, some RON but NO IDAS (what a surprise). guess i was way too tired to play at all.

Gave me alot of time to think. Think about things as they are now. Now in our IDAS community, we tend to make fun of a certain kind of people, pretending to be like that. I know it's all in the nature of fun, but what if they knew that among them, is someone like that for real, who has had to live with the prejudice and hurt that comes with it on a day-to-day, ever since he knew he was different from the rest of his friends in school, in NS and in work...I'm glad that the one i truly love knows and understands, as well as the few friends who do know. It's as natural for me, as it is to eat, to breathe and to sleep. Sometimes i do wonder why am i this way, only to find the eternal void staring back with no answers...

Weekend Blues...

2004-09-13T08:12:00.000+08:00

Saturday i did ABSOLUTELY nothing of note, stuck at home the whole damn day, staring at my room's 4 walls (ok, apart from playing abit of RON and Gunbound...)

Sunday was abit better, went to Atrium for a while in the afternoon. Put in DC2, and a Evo7 come and chie me to Shomaru, i lose. I dunno what the fark i was thinking, i put in the ER34 and go back to Shomaru, of course i lose as well (ultimate blocking on his part...hahaha). I tulan already, i chie him Tuban OB. He lost like sai, so he decides to bring me to Akina Snow, and got blocked all the way to the end (a 4WD having to block an FR on snow....farking disgrace...). I got bored and brought him to Akina UH, my absolute worst map. He decided to leave.

Then this white FD come and chie me. Played a few rounds with him, won some and lost some (cant remember any of the maps). Then i noticed the nick on the FD, which was EVIL. It's Cyansupra from the SGforums!! I took out the ER34 and put in the BNR34. I chie him Happo IB, i lost because he overtook at the right turn after the upward hairpins (note to self: figure out how to block inside line on that corner), i decided on Akagi DH, and won. He chie me Akagi UH and i also won. After that, he gave up and went to go TAs

Then saw this S13 with green light on. Because of the fact that the car is only around 250K, i decided to randomly pick the map. Got Akina and i won. He chie me back Happo OB and i got overtaken at the exact same corner as Cyansupra's FD, but in reverse (must REALLY learn to guard that corner...). I random map again, and i got Akina again, much to my dismay. Never mind, i won anyway. He chie me back Akagi DH and Iro DH, with him having no luck. I found it rather intriguing, since the S13 is not a common car even in ver 3. i'll be looking out for this fellow....

After that, i went back to doing Bunta on my BNR34, with little luck (only managed to clear Bunta 9 on Happo). Then this little kid comes up to me and says his friend wants to chie me, so i went over to where his friend was. The fellow switches on green with a 150K DC2, so i shoved in the ER34. Random-chose the map as Iro DH, and i won. Fellow takes out a 200K Evo5 and chie me Iro DH again, and makes it wet. At 1st i thought i was going to lose (because ER34's pickup loses to Evo5, somemore corners slower). Turns out i won pickup (WTF?!) and won by mad-ass blocking. The kid gave up.

After that, did a few more rounds of Bunta and TAs on both the BNR34 and ER34. Not much luck, only managed to reduce my Akina DH timing on the ER34 to 3:09, from a horrible 3:11. Found two cards at the IDAS machines, a GC8 and a GC8V. Dunno who they belong to, so i'll keep them for the time being until i figure out who they belong to.

Went to Sim Lim and bought a Sony CDRW drive for 50 bucks and a rim of 50 CDRs for around 20 bucks. Had dinner there (Glenn paid, since he owed me 3 bucks). Finally also got a new crystal keypad for the 7250 phone i got, to replace the old, worn & faded one.

Oh well, back to work.....

What a week...

2004-09-10T23:19:00.000+08:00

Yeah yeah, i know i havent posted up nuts for the past few days.

On Tuesday afternoon, went to Sim Lim Square to try and find most of the hardware that we will be using for our project. Searched alot of shops especially for the barcode reader, which alot of shops seem to sell for $169. The embedded PC and the LCD proved to be harder to find, since only one shop in SLS sells them, Bliss on the 5th floor. Went in and asked the fellow about the PC and the LCD screen. Turns out the embedded PC, with a 300Mhz processor onboard cost around $550, with a casing and PSU for it costing about $265 (WTF??!!!) and the LCD costing around 800 at least (even more WTF??!!). Turns out our budget is really going to end up flying into space by the time we're done...

On Wednesday, took the Java practical test. Man it was sooo predictable, i almost fell alsleep doing it. Nothing reall notable happened on Thursday and today in school (yup it was THAT boring...)

IDAS-wise over the past few days, i've just been whacking TA with my ER34. Not too bad, managed to get a 3:07 on Shomaru OB, a 2:46 on Tsuchisaka OB, among a few other timings. Yeah i know they aint that fantastic, but then again, i sux...hahahaha. My BNR34 also got something, since i managed to reduce my Shomaru OB on it to 3:09. Battle-wise, i win some, i lose some, on both cars. Today was especially fun though. Got to try out idiotcat's kopi car and actually managed to overtake Kuan Yu's Evo4 on Shomaru OB. Very interesting car to use but i doubt i'll be getting on anytime soon. The GTR came out today, because the ER34 kept getting bullied by a guy in a FD Spirit. The guy nearly died on the spot seeing the green aura....hahaha...out of 6 matches, lost only one to him, and that was when Alex AKA Hypez got itchy fingers and decided to try my car on Happo OB wet....hahahahahaha....

zzzzzzzzzzz.......sleepy now....seeya

Fun at School and at Bugis

2004-09-07T09:17:00.000+08:00

Now in PD1 project room, typing this out...

Yesterday PD1 was ok, at least we're getting somewhere. Managed to modify the software to something closer to the final version we have in mind. Visual Basic networking is a bloody headache, i can tell u. Tried to check up on the prices of small LCD monitors for the console, found out that they really cost a farking bomb. Good thing the supervisor says we have a 2-3K budget to work with...

After that, went to Bugis to have fun with my ER34. 1st stop was a girl in a lvl 11 Evo6 with her challenge on, challenged her to akina DH and i ended up pwning her so bad, i felt rather embarassed. Then her friends decides to take revenge, puts in a GC8V and brings me to Shomaru. i win startup, go figure out what happens. Then finally encountered the imfamous WEIJI the lamer, who takes a GC8V and brings me to Usui right wet. I lose like shit, then i whack him back on Happo IB, with him complaining that choosing Happo "wasnt fair to him" (HAHAHAHAHA). He chose Usui left wet (boooorrrriiinnngg), but he crashed at the 1st hairpin and i managed to overtake on C121. Being totally pissed off now, he selects Akina Snow to kill my FR car. Now I'M FARKING PISSED. U WANT TO BULLY PEOPLE ON SNOW, LET'S HAVE FUN WITH MY GTR!! Everyone around him nearly got a heart attack from seeing a green-aura R34 pop up. He loses like shit on snow vs my GTR, rechallenges back on snow (idiots do exist) and loses again. After that, i was left alone to play Bunta. Didnt get past Bunta 10 on Akagi, need more practice...

Oh well, see how's my mood, maybe i go have some more fun today....

Sian-sation...

2004-09-06T07:48:00.000+08:00

Now in school, waiting for the project room to open....

Saturday was a total letdown (can u believe i ended up staying at home on a WEEKEND?? yucks). Got stuck at home, so ended up playing SOF II, which i download via BT a few days ago. Yes i know it's old, but give me a break, i havent been updating myself on what games are good these days. As per the usual trademarks, gore is ever present (and shooting the enemies in the crotch does seems to have a very funny effect....HAHAHAHA).

Sunday was alot better, went with Kuan Yu and Glenn to Atrium, had some fun there with my ER34 and BNR34. Battled Walter AKA Ah Shui with both cars, finally got to change my ER34's muffler to the Initial-D one (YES!! No more constipated startup!!), and also leveled up to 12. The R34 also came out, and reversing Ah Shui's Evo4 on Iro UH with it was fun. One thing i need to deal with is him monkeying around with my shifter when he's losing. GRRRR......

Crazy ass things......

2004-09-04T01:09:00.000+08:00

School was boring as usual, slept thru most of the lectures and labs, then went to JP to renew my COE for my R34. Tried Akina number 8, no luck...then Kar Wee ask me to let him try. Before i knew it, he blew past number 8,9 and 10. He was stuck at number 11 about 10 times before he got past it and got my R34 to snow!! Bunta 12 and 13 i got to try, and boy was it fun....Then KW tried 14 and 15....to make my car the 1st R34 in Singapore to clear all 15 stars!! Although i was a bit disappointed that it wasnt me that did this amazing feat, on the bright side i get to see how a Akina spec runs my car. Got a few tips and tricks on how to run this car on Akina, and which will come in useful in battles....

Oh well, KW is sure to be famous as heck after this. Me? i'm content that my R34 had the honor of being used to pull off this crazy feat....

Oh well, time to rest...

Of tests results and fun...

2004-09-03T00:01:00.000+08:00

Didnt write yesterday, so might as well put what happened here.

Yesterday: Got my Java test results back...KNN, only 67%. especially since most of the marks lost were careless mistakes that really make me go, "WTF??". After that, went to Atrium and met up with Glenn and Rafale. Decided to have some fun with Baby Tong, who was there with her Evo4, trying to break her own Happo IB record. When she realised she couldnt break it, she switched the challenge on. Thus began a series of matches on all sort of maps. She won all the Iro DH ones (duh), one of the Happo matches and one Tuban match. My luck was better on Akagi and Akina DH dry and snow. After that, she decided to leave. Then i noticed Walter (AKA Ah Shui AKA Mr Myogi Right Wet) practising with his R34 with his green light on. WTF, i end up being pulled to all the maps where he has the advantage lane. On Akagi UH i managed to win startup, even though i was on the left (HAHA), but Akina Snow no fight i end up tio blocked all the way to finish. The best was the Iro UH match, at least now he knows what torment a R34 driver goes through on Iro UH.

Today: Didnt do much, IDAS-wise. Tried to trash Bunta 8 on Akina, kept losing him at some of the most dumbass places in the map. GRRRR.....i'll get him one day. On the bright side, i cleared Happo 8 and Akagi 8. Kuan Yu got himself a R32 and was having jolly good fun with it (even though he lost to Glenn's FD on Akagi UH WET....HAHAHAHAHA).

Also got my Linux test paper back today. 96%, lost 4 marks to stupid errors...sianz. Also ended up taking the FIT test today, got 60%....not too bad, considering i was guessing 3/4 of the answers. The new FIT lecturer is more strict, no more skipping FIT lectures to play RON anymore....HAHAHAHA.

Time to sleep. zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.........

Adventures of the S2000

2004-08-31T22:19:00.000+08:00

Boring day at school....didnt do much for the project work, so left early. Decided to drop by Bugis for fun, laughter, peace and joy.

Go there, machines either bo seng li, or noobs using them. Never mind, i sit down and put in the S2000 and on green light. Finally after some time, some fellow sat down and chie me with a 50K Evo7. Despite the fact that boost was on, i whack him by 200m on Usui left wet (S2000 on wet really makes for a jolly good time). Then a little kid sits down with a lvl 11, 400K Evo4. He pulls me to Happo fulu, which i won quite easily. Then he gets clever and brings me to Akina Snow DH. Totally disgraced his Evo4 by 300m, and leveled him down and "extinguished" his aura. OOOPPPSSSS.....

Then some fellow comes along with a stock Evo4 and brings me to Usui Right. Combine the S2000's driftiness and my unfamilarity with Usui Right, leads to a loss. I decided to have a little fun, and brought the Evo to Akina Snow. He lost, and then pulled out a lvl 11, 600K GDB and brings me to Tuban IB. He's on the left lane, so he starts 1st and i got blocked all the way to the finish. Never mind, i chie him back Tuban OB, with the result of me starting 1st and winning the match. Then i realised i leveled down his car to lvl 10. OOOPPPSSS again....He was so pissed he brought me to Shomaru OB and won. So much for that, he didnt get his aura back anyway.

Now running some errands for my NP Computer Club. Seeya...

Comex...what a crowd

2004-08-30T00:38:00.000+08:00

Went out today to Comex with Maurice. Saw Hong Chen there working at the HP booth, chatted with him awhile and then browsed around. The crowd was madness, due to SCV having some crazy-ass promotion with their cable modem and the X-Box. Decided it wasnt worth getting squished by kiasu/kiasee/whatever Singaporeans and got out of there. Went to the local SF arcade at Marina and had some IDAS fun. Some kids were playing among themselves, and when i sat down, they were furiously trying to switch off their friend's challenge button. Heheheh, decided not to challenge the other fellow (he's a complete noob, period), and instead sat down and started playing with my new S2000, with my green light on. Sure enuff, the bait proved too much, and one of them pulls out a FD and chie me to Tsuchisaka Fulu. Pulled the FD around 400m (of course i waited), he then rechallenges me back to Akina UH. He started 1st, but i overtook at the LHOD and the match was mine, with a distance of 200m. He gave up, and Maurice decided to challenge with his Altezza. I could have won, but decided to let him go thru finish line 1st...why? OUT COMES THE BNR34!! It was a good match, although i have to admit choosing Happo was abit sadistic on my part.

Had dinner with Maurice, his brother and his friends and his dad. The steamboat was good, especially the beef in eggs. Followed Maurice to Tampines MRT, where i dropped off. Went to CS for a while. Managed to reduce my Akina Snow DH to 3:28.xxx , could be better but the steering wheel really was in shit-ass condition. Didnt managed to chie anyone else, and i'm still stuck trying to trash 7-star Bunta on Iro.

Time to sleep...sweet dreamz....

Joy oh joy (and maybe some closure as well)

2004-08-29T01:04:00.000+08:00

Today had quite a bit of things happening today.

1st thing was that finally me and Tommy got to sit down and trash things out, compliments of Uncle Sad and Shini. We still aint friendly, but at the very least i wont be tearing anyone's throat anytime soon. For things as they are, i think that's how they go.

2nd was my R34. Two crazy things happened to it today. One is that i nearly gave everyone a heart attack by clearing Bunta 7 on Akina with the R34, with complete mad-ass blocking.. Another thing is that my aura finally change color. Green looks nice on a black car. weeee......

Oh well, what a day. Time to zzz...

Die, Bunta, Die!!!

2004-08-27T01:15:00.000+08:00

weeeeee, finished my Linux test today. talk about farking boliao, test got 1.5 hrs to do, we all finish in 20 mins. After 45 mins, everyone leave already......wahahahahaha, leave the examiners there all stone....

Anyway, burned 15 bucks today on IDAS. Got a S2000 Tune C, talk about crazy to drive. Realised this car is horrible on wet when i lost to Wataru TWICE on Shomaru OB wet. The exhaust needs to change as well, the C-west one feels like it's going to fall down and die in the 5th and 6th gear. Now at around 140K.

Finally got the 6th star on Akina Bunta with my R34. Weeeeeee, it'll be something to tell tUx and Channon about. Doesnt sound like much, but considering the R34 is the worst car on Akina, it makes for quite a deal. Too bad my day got ruined by a GDB that brought me to Usui and was laughing all the way (Cant really blame him, i abused his Evo7 on Akina Snow 1st....wahahaha).

Anyway, sleepy now. time to zzzzzzzzzz................

Errr...like....Whatever

2004-08-25T21:28:00.000+08:00

Did crap the whole day. No mood to study so just played Gunbound and RON most of the day. In any case, i did go thru my usual Initial D forums to check things out. Apparently Dilip's in a dillema, he's facing off Windblade on Tuban IB wet. he gets to pick lanes but since its wet, his Altezza is useless. After some haggering by me and a whole bunch of other people, he's decided to use ROOF's (his team leader in VSF) GDB. Not an ideal choice, but u cant get everything, can u?

Anyway, saw on NY30C's forum as well. Me, senior member? WTF? i dunno what to see in this, because honestly i dont think i'm that good enough to be one. In any case, there's a big plan going on in the team now, would be interesting to see how things go. But from what i see, there's no room for a oddball like me. I feel like the square peg trying to fit into the round hole...

Talked to my old schoolmate, Deckker on the phone. i cant believe it's been NINE years since i've known him. Time really does fly (not to mention now i really feel old). Ahh, life was fun at 14 in secondary school...

Oh well, back to the books. Linux test tomorrow....

Stoned and confused...

2004-08-24T16:37:00.000+08:00

Grrr...just woke up from a extra-long afternoon nap. The Java test in the morning was a total bomb, hope i even pass it....

Sometimes i sit here wondering: Why do i spend so much of life trying to live up to people's expectations? Be it in IDAS, schoolwork or anything else, it's always been one uphill battle after another. In IDAS, it's all about being fast, having the respect of other people and whatnot. I try my best in this area, only to be plunged back down into the gutter due to someone's stupid behavior. I'm sick of being mistrusted, i'm sick of having to explain every action i do, and i'm really sick of having to deal with SOBs who think they are God-Almighty in IDAS.

I'm human, i make mistakes. You think i started playing IDAS knowing what is lame, and what is not? NO WAY IN HELL! But there are people out there, people just waiting for me to make one mistake, one mis-step. Once i do, they just pounce and go "Soran is a lamer, Soran is a lamer...". Look it's not as though i have this nice big book here that says what is "lame" behavior in IDAS and what is not. I'M FARKING HUMAN, NOT SOME GOD, CUT ME SOME SLACK!!

We reap what we sow...

2004-08-24T00:40:00.000+08:00

Noticed in the SGRacer forum that the X-TRM GDB went missing. Also saw Tommy's pathetic appeal to go find it. I cant help but feel that now, after so long, that he finally got what was coming to him...

Bu'Dong said i gave him no face when i said that i hated Tommy's guts. I only can say that i stand by every single word i said in IRC. I dont care that he's bloody fast, or that he was the reason that Team X-treme won the UGC. My vendetta is with him, and him alone. For the misery he caused me has no measure. The damage he caused to my reputation, to my state of mind, and to my friendships with others in the IDAS community is something i feel even up to today. He is the reason i am someone whom everyone seems to be polite to, but never be close to, for the trust has been shattered, all to massage his overly-inflated ego.

The last time i saw him was at Atrium a week ago, where he decided to "take over" someone's RX-8 to chie my R34. His attempts to look all polite and friendly, like as though he didnt know me, disgusts me to the core.

So much for him, for what he did to me, i hope he burns in hell....

My mind's a mess...

2004-08-23T19:58:00.000+08:00

Just got a call from Marisa. Seems that she managed to find her way to my blog, and started bombing the TAG columm. Also turns out she posted my photo as a "chio bu" in the SGRacer Chio Bu thread...lol, I guess to each his (or her) own. I guess i consider myself fortunate in this aspect, since i even when the world turns against me, i still have her to talk to, to run to and to cry upon. It would not be exaggerating to say that if i wasnt with her today, i wouldnt know where i'll be. Probably some bum, going along life one day at a time. In an era where people are shallow and hypocritic, she is one of a kind.

Since she's been in Australia for her studies, there are times when i lie in bed, thinking of her. A life with her, with little tykes of ours running around. To grow old together in our golden years...that is something i very much look forward too. I will bear the heartache that i have, from this temporary separation, so that we may have a future together...

Well, back to the books...ciao..

Anvils keep falling on my head...

2004-08-23T11:41:00.000+08:00

Ow ow ow....woke up at 9, but my head still is pounding like as though someone dropped alot of crap on it. Guess i havent had that much sleep lately...

Now time to go find some chow in the house, and then its back to the books. The Java test is tomorrow and this is one subject i hate to the core. Objects? Relationships? WTF?

After reading my previous entry, some people might ask if i do feel bitter towards the local IDAS scene sometimes. Truth be told, yes i do. But then again, everything in society has its politics, including games. All i want is to enjoy myself, without for once being called a bully/lamer/SOB/whatever. It's not like i wake up in the morning and go "Oh i shall go to Atrium and bring everyone to Myogi Right Wet in my R34..." (not like a certain little kid....). I've given up trying to apologise to those people who claimed that i "lamed" them, for it's like trying to talk to a bunch of rocks.

Enough about that, time to raid the fridge...